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Tormented Soul

(note i have a huge imagination i love to draw and i do well some interesting story's so please bare with me)

dark eyes watch me in the night
there eyes glow so red
i try i hide
only to find myself back outside
the people no these demons
there everywhere
they have large black angel like wings
both there hands have such horde claws
they are all so thin
and they
are coming for me again
there eyes are the purest form of death
there skin is ash white
a hole in there chest were there heart is
there mouths are sown shut
some have long hair others all so short
matted and messy most of there body covered in blood
the sound they make wen they try to speak
gives me nightmares ever so much more
the screams of them chasing me
sounds of thousands of dead
begging for help as there souls are tormented
the sight of them is a poison of its own
slowly killing me as i run
my protectors can only hold them but for moments
Shadow dives hell right threw them as he soon dies
Demon speaks words i don't understand
as he forges his soul into his blade he fights
Whispers speaks his spells as he uses his claws to show them
he has the power
these demons keep with the chase
moaning screaming
i hear them coming
i fell there claws strike my back
and with but a whisper
i fade into the black

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Falling in Loveless
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    haha, looks like someone got you on your spelling. but spelling isnt everything right?

    btw, i love your imagination

  • piccola silver member
    August 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for entering the interesting story. You might benefit from spell check but then again it can't discern these errors:

    dark eyes watch me in the night
    their eyes glow so red
    i try i hide
    only to find myself back outside
    the people know these demons
    they're (they are)  everywhere
    they have large black angel-like wings
    both their  hands have such horde claws ( I would do away with the word  both and begin the sentence with "their  hands")

     

    The words their, there or they're  is used too much. Redundancy really takes away from a write. Prepositions clutter and make a write sound long-winded and boring. I hope this doesn't discourage you. With a bit of work this could be good. Thank you for entering.