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Into the forest I plunge

Lost inside myself screaming for release,
Hiding from the twisted reality that stalks me,
Staring into the hopeless oblivion of life,
Though so lonely from this frozen isolation,
To blinded by fear to let myself be found

Into the forest I plunge - running as fast as I dare,
The shallow stares that mock all - yet can not see,
Will forever haunt me - but I will not despair,
Waiting for my path to form and destiny to greet me.

Author notes

This is the first verse and chorus of a song that I am writing.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Blue Eyes Wander
    August 28, 2008

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    B+

    I agree, good imagery. I got visions of a lonely, scared girl running into the dark forest, possibly afraid of what lies in wait in the wild, but terrified of sitting still in her existence.
    Well written, but I think a little extra work would bring this piece to another level, honestly.
    It's quite good though. I really liked the other one you wrote that I checked out, "Eternal Turmoil"
    Good stuff.


  • Luckintheshadows
    August 28, 2008

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    I love the imagery you've created here. Your chorus is strong, it gives the impression that the writer knows that they're moving forward, and will willingly embrace whatever destiny has in store for them. All in all a very well written piece, and I look forward to reading this in it's entirity...
    Thanks for sharing this,

    Luck.


    • stars-eyes
      August 28, 2008
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      Thankyou I will add more verses to this when I have written them.