A lumberjack asked the Man-ghost,
"From where do humans arrive in
a body so performing, eyes to view,
that should storms arise, they wink and blink
till dust will leave at such small command?"
Ghost waited in gallant restraint
while yet another question passed his lips;
" And ...ears, how could they at such avail
be the hearers of the mind, the soul- heart;
how would the hands lift the axe, to break a tree,
to fuel for fire and build a house while feet
perch on soils that grow food for body and thought?
How could they have been less than planned,
and to whom can I afford my gratitude?"
The Man-ghost rested in the holy forest
arms clasped behind his humbled pose;
in silent respect, he exhaled in breath
to which wind responded, shifting leaves
dappling the terrain, molecules of His earth
noised a chant and whistled to the quester's
itchy spirit while he dropped his axe in awe;
the smile was stretching his beard, for now,
now he truly Knew the Creator, but mostly,
mostly, the remarkable sense of a loving presence
and he spoke through the icey breeze,
"Well then, I'm so very glad ...
to meet You".
Author notes
Thank you, lindaburns. I liked what inspired me in this draft!
Blessings, CookieZeal/Di
- Critical Reviewers Three group list • next in list
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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WOW.
Really magnificent piece, and powerful! Your ending was, to put it simply, perfect, and the flow so natural and lovely. BRILLIANTLY DONE!!!!!!!!!!!
-Lena -
Bravo!!!
What a fabulous poem. The imagery really pulled me in. Very creative and unique. I enjoyed every word.
Wishing You Many Blessings,
Robert
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Oh, I was there in this one. Found my self taking in a deep breath toward the end. Marvelous portrayal of a rose to a blind person, but you always do this well. Yes, I agree, a Master piece. Well done.
~Mary O
Ps I forgot to mention the great smile that stretched across my face at your ending.
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You took poetry to another level, this is a masterpiece.
The dialogue was so interesting, full of life and reality related substances.
I think you’re reached perfection in your flow, the way you simply and smoothly spoke of the soul with so much wisdom and I could tell, years of grace and life experiences.
You make such a captivating, difficult write seem so effortless and joyful.
It was a pleasure to read this poem.
So much to learn from.
Am really amazed, hoping one day I’ll reach this level of writing.
Thank you for the inspiration Cookie Zeal =)
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I like it
It was nice, I didn't understand it at first but you did a great job of clearing that up in the second stanza.
I love how it's dialogue between to characters. I think that makes poems interesting
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His breath IS life. Very well done. This is a masterpiece filled with layers and layers of meaning and feeling.
Excellent.
Garrison
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and in His exhalation came the silent knowledge slipping in through Spirit Port into Very Spirit. The Lumberjack bows his head and whispers, “I’m so very glad to meet you.”
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I want to thank you for such a 'rich' comment. Since this is only my 3rd draft, I would like to choose the greeting which you ended your comment with. Do you mind?
I will let it flow in the last stanza.
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I would be honored if you used the greeting.
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