once-loved anthology
of her life
unopened
inscription reads -
Lexi
her attention wanders
hands slip
torn pages skitter across
paths of life
arcadian eyes
paint arcs of oblivion
in black and white
and shades of unfamiliarity
with all the dizziness
of a second-first time
squeezing head
to enunciate her own name
like a parrot
as if it could have done
any good -
she has earned
an unblemished past
and finally feels
at peace
Author notes
Prompt: Unblemished
The reference to Lexi in this poem is an allusion to the amnesiac main character (Lexi Smart) of Sophie Kinsella's book Remember Me 
In a list
A contest entry
- Collaboration Contest.... by kiwigirljacks.
1225 points, ended September 8, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive criticism is always welcome!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This is a really effective piece
Your words are different, as always and give an interesting insight into life and how the world affects us all.
Sha
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Hook-Wink!
You know I love your work, why else would I read it (...other than obligation I guess)? Congratulations on the silver! 'with all the dizziness of a second-first time' is wonderfully beautiful. Cheers
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I really like this. I can relate. I love the line "Arcadian eyes paint arcs of oblivion..." Very creative and extremely clear to me. I spent a few years down the bayou in Louisiana and that line took me back. I like the tone and flow of this poem. Very nice work here. ~ Joyce
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Yay!! We won silver!!! Told you you were good
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Congrats
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Excellent! I really like how you used this prompt! I could read my own life into those lines also! Fantastic non-cliche write for the prompt!!
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Which prompt did you choose? I can't remember all 4.
I think you're supposed to say which prompt you chose in your AN.
I get a feeling of the past here, which is fitting after I read your AN.
You create "the past" effects really easily...or at least, it reads off easily. e.g. once-loved, paths of life, second-first time
I love "arcs of oblivion" in particular--it just has magical flow, like Harry Potter.
"squeezing head
to enunciate her own name
like a parrot"
Okay, LOVE. And the gerund, 'squeezing'...well, I love it. I don't usually like gerunds. The simile works & it has nice imagery (how could anyone NOT imagine a parrot after reading that?)
That last stanza wrapped it up well enough, but it didn't leave any intrigue or wonder.
Which might be a good thing, because it left me with peace instead of intrigue.
Good luck
Jessica
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Unblemished - yeah, I'll go add that in - clearly my memory is going the same way as my typing
Thank you for the lovely comment
being left with peace would certainly fit the ending I'm glad it had that effect!
Pol -
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Your poetic ability is apparent so meh
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mhm, I agree with Marty, that "arcadian eyes" image is lovely. I also really like "with all the dizziness of a second-first time": it's simply stated, but I just love it (and it's true too). And that parrot stanza is also gorgeously intriguing. mhmmmmm, very well done.
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This whole thing breathes with a very intriguing simplicity. This will my second read through as I read it from start to finn without commenting.
'once-loved anthology
of her life
unopened
inscription reads -
Lexi'
I love the presentation of this.
'her attention wanders
hands slip
torn pages skitter across
paths of life'
a very uncliche way to say 'suicide note'
(or that is the impression I got)
'arcadian eyes' LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!
'to enunciate her own name
like a parrot'
*Smiles muchly*
I thought you two did an exceedingly excellent job.
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Good luck guys.
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OH! I'm SOOO excited for this!
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