all my clothes are rags
all my cups are cracked
all my plates are smeared
and all my windows smashed
all my pets are bugs
all my books are ripped
all my time is spent
and all my friends are drugs
all my hope is gone
all my words are crazy
all my world is hazy
and all my life's gone wrong
all this time ive waited
all this time for you
all this time you've hated
all this i do for you
all this happened since you left
since you left me on my own
all this happened since you left
since you left me monotone.
Author notes
just did this now because im addicted to having comments on my poems... so much so that i think im going to become forced by my greed to write and write and write and eventually just be spilling out gibberish.... who knows?
wrote this with just an image in mind. an old house thats got holes in the roof and walls, the wind flows freely through the door hanging coorked by hinges, the floor creaks, theres cobwebs everywhere, everythings covered in a thick layer of dust, every thing is also a few years behind the times and in the middle of this house stands this man who just looks like everything he ever held dear was just ripped away from him, looking dead inside and unkempt outside. someone who you just look at and think "how do they find it in themselves to keep living when they emanate so much lost hope and desolation...?"
"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair"
-that was also stuck in my head.
ask anything, any comment is nice. hate it or love it, just let me know.
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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MAJOR KUDOS. great rythym--likes it bunches
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this is a wonderful write..I thot i shud look into some of your other writes, I am happy i did it...this one is relly nice!
Well done...
all my world is hazy
and all my life's gone wrong
all this time ive waited - nice lines...WOW!
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Dude! this was great, you stirred up some memories for me, the ones I remember still.
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thanks man, i dont know if that memory would be a good one, but stirring up emotions is what i aim for.
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liked the rhyme scheme and i think the quote in your ANs seems familiar but I can't place it.... love getting images in my head and writing about them, each persons attention to detail is always so different, glad you wrote what you saw in your head because the compariosn of what i saw was kinda different but still the same basic principle. oops babbling again well done
~Betrayals
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babbles my favorite.
the quote is from Ozymandias, its a famous quote, but not famously credited. he used to be a king of some sort, i dont really know too much about him. thanks
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I love this! The repetition and rhyme made it flow so well. Very nice write.
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omgz. the repetition made it...
heart-rending.
not to be melodramatic.
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gibberish?
Nah, not even.
this is profound, well written and honest.
well done :. -
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thanks, i really like the word 'profound', makes your comment mean a lot to me. i'll have to check out some of your writes sometime i look forward to it!
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nicestuff
lol. wow. loved it. very mellow= ) -
i enjoyed this one, great job man keep it up (Y)
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EXCELLENT !!!
I have a poem called Humanly Started that has 2 words per line and I love it. Your poem is the only one I have read that is like mine. I don't know any poetry styles and sometimes I don't even know how to say what it is I am trying to say other than the way I wrote it in my poem. I truely loved your write. So simply said yet means so much. Bravo !!
Thank you for sharing this. It was a pleasure.
Peace to you
AND... I thought the repetition was brilliant!!!
Excellent work
jeri
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I was getting kind of annoyed with all the lines beginning the same way and they were so short, but at the end I just thought, "Ah!" and it was very nice!
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bloody brilliant,
simple.
but they are the best.
thank you. -
I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting comments.. I've soo been there, just wanting one great poet to write something amazing!! I really enjoyed your write It was very thought prevoking(sp) lol its just one of thoes bad spelling days for me sorry! thanks for the great write!!
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i like the end line, with the monotone, awesome word usage. you may want to consider a period after, "and all my friends are drugs.' or a dash or semi colon, some sort of stop, breathe, and go on device.
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Come to get your poem, and I thank you so much!
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You know... I like this poem a lot and if you will allow me to do it, I would like to post it on a poetry blog I run in California, USA, for The Reporter Newspaper. I am the blog manager for Poetry Planet and we get hundreds of hits a day from people all over the world. I would like you to be the featured poet, please? Your name and copyright would go on the poem, of course.
Melodies
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i really like it
i really like this one kind of reminds me of something that happend to me a while back great writeing -
I loved this! i like to write like this, it takes amazing talent to make repetition sound good! great job!
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I got so much imagery out of this, which is my favorite.
Well written <3
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I think it is really in depth, and it says quite a bit about you, despite your greed, i love comments too
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oh yeah the applause, and when you begged for reads, you skipped sextuple
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this was brillant my friend, all my pets are bugs, all my time is spent, all my friends are drugs, fucking brillant, and of course the last line! but all my pets are bugs, can i use that line sometime, i love it, the loneliness just drips from that line
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go ahead! all these things... i dont call them poems when i think about them, they'r just ideas to me. so yeah... take what you wish and make something out of them! just keep in mind what ive made out of it is mine already, so keep it orriginal buddy
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i've kept that line about bugs being my only friends in my head, and i finally used it, thanks. allpoetry.com/poem/4723889
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the rhyming is kind of inconsistent...
and I didn't enjoy the repetition of "all"
I liked the the last four lines though
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i usually detest rhyme, but i loved how rythmic this was.
i also enjoyed your choice to use the word 'monotone' in the final line. it was truly unique, and added a sort of visual side to this poem for me.
nice, thank you. -
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i chose monotone because i wanted a word that could describe the gray that i saw in my head surrounded the picture that i was writing about. thanks for noticing!
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I liked this a lot especially the repetition and the short lines. It reads more like a rant nevertheless it was a great poem
Love D.L.
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uhhh wow
Amazing, you put so much thought into such small lines, lol... I'm horrible at that. It was beautifully written and well spoken. Gibberish is still poetry if you make it seem willing enough to stick to the heart and mind in any which way.
well.
yes, very lovely.. And I just loveddd how you said "and all my friends are drugs" that made me giggle.
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