It’s gone stagnant,
not even ghosts dare
to tread the air
and I’ve found myself
in isolation, doubting
(or maybe pouting)
in all that we’ve become
(seems pity’s been around again,
I find it’s more than my best friend.)
But I feel your breath
dancing up my breast and neck
to rest itself so fondly
upon whispers in my ear
(though all I’ve heard
are gloats and boasts.)
I trip and tangle in
just how quick
my flesh regrets
(or may attempt)
to forget you.
And yet I fantasize
(to my demise)
of all the ways
your fingertips would grip,
to tease or tempt,
my (less than)
steadfast willpower.
It was never fair to gaze or stare
in hope of my destruction,
but you played the fool
(or more like tool) so well,
who’d have thought
to stop the clock
and see the fool in me?
So here, in dismal space between,
I sink into my skin
and tremble at the thought
of everything I’m not
and never was
(desperation suits me well
when all I was, forgotten,
now dangles on a string)
One (un) fair tug
and I would love
to pine again for you,
but you well know
(and let it show)
that you never cared for me.
Author notes
hmmm....
Comments and critique much appreciated
----------------------------------------
MelodiousDreaming
OPTION 21::_
Heart brake, forbidden love, unrequited love. and all that jazz.
A contest entry
- Prewrites? Sure! by xCandieKissesx.
300 points, ended August 29, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Titles For You!!!!!! by Peachy.
900 points, ended September 1, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter your favorite poem that hasn't won anything by whispernthedark.
745 points, ended October 4, 2008, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [[.Courtesy of a Raven's Blood.]] by Soten-Jaganshi.
1600 points, ended October 17, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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wonderful write, thank you so much for the entry, best of luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
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Thank you, I'm very pleased you enjoyed it ^_^
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heeyyyy again you are open to workshop ---
there is a beat in here that i hope you don't mind that i pulled at some more? I actually had a blast playing with this- though I never want to offend or think it is finished- i workshop shit forever and change old stuff all the time lol...
sorry for my simplicity
Stagnant
Ghosts don’t dare
Tread air
Found myself in
Isolation
Doubting, pouting
All that we’ve become
Seems pity’s ‘round again
More than my best friend
Your breath dances
Upon my breast
Rests itself fondly
Upon whispers
(though all I’ve heard
are gloats and boasts)
trip and tangle in
just how quick
flesh regrets
or attempts
to forget
fantasize
to demise
all the ways
fingertips grip
tease or
tempt
my less than
steadfast willpower
no fair
to gaze or stare
hope of my
destruction
you played the fool
(more like tool)
who’d have thought
to stop the clock
to see the fool in me?
so here
dismal space
between
skin and tremble
of everything I’m not
(desperation suits)
(un) fair tug
I would love
To pine again
But
You well know
(let it show)
you never cared
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Haha I must admit that I know this one by heart so it took me a minute to read yours haha (I kept saying it from memory
)
I do like your simplicity, I never really think to do such things, I just sit and hope what comes out is worth reading haha -
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anything from someones heart and soul is always worth reading.
I am glad you were cool with me playing around with some of your works. It was fun. -
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Thanks for the favorites add ^_^
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how often do we allow ourselves to indulge in hurtfull love,to desire one no matter the pain, I envy the person you lust for.
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Well now it's official, you're my new favorite person.... I'll give you the plaque later
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It’s gone stagnant,
not even ghosts dare
to tread the air
and I’ve found myself
in isolation, doubting
(or maybe pouting)
in all that we’ve become
(seems pity’s been around again,
I find it’s more than my best friend.)
Very powerful and compelling lines here. I lalala love the word "isolation" for some odd reason. Great job and good luck!
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^_^ Thank you so much, I'm very pleased you liked it.
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This is realllly cool,
seems like this comes from a place of reality.
Lust sorta does that to a person sometimes.
Good write
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Thanks! Very happy ya liked it
Haha, dunno why but surprisingly I feel much better after writing this, like I've gotten something off my chest
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