A kiss - whatever we want -
lips soft in supplication,
a Judas of betrayal or a pecked
acknowledgement born from
stale friendship. A passion of yearning
searing hunger that screams
‘I’ve missed you’ when words
become superfluous.An artificial smear
of painted powdered cheeks biting
empty air with carefully
guarded eyes.
To me and me alone – a kiss is
the snatching savage beauty of
the Man who tears my heart,
brushes my soul with an unkempt
beard but forms me to what we are -
transcends all gods and those
who can never understand -
this kiss is
a lifebreath of hot
unimagined him.
Author notes
First draft - I know the structure's a bit 'free' but just wanted to say what it means to me.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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very good write! i can feel the passion of the poem! keep writing, you are doin a great job
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this has a real nice flow to it...I'll be interested to see how it shapes up as you get constructive feedback...thanks for sharing...peace and light, kp
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Very clever. I've never thought of a kiss that way before. Good job, well written, and of course amazingly penned. Keep up the good work.
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A very clever write with a different face than most entries...a great write with great flow and imagery. A perfect contest entry...best of luck.
Nevadapoet -
Don't apologize for the "free" structure in this piece. I think it might add to the allure of the piece. I do thought understand your desire for some polish. Nicely wirtten.
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good write seems like its a rough draft though maybbe work it a little more ... the edges seem jagged if you know what i mean
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I think you've very easily captured what his kiss means to you. There's superb imagery and metaphor throughout. I can't find a single thing wrong with this.
Excellent job. Good luck in the contest, and have some clappy dudes!
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