Lighting strikes reality slows down for
a mere second and your wishes & dreams
stumble upon the floor.
As i pick a shattered part up and piece
together the puzzle I smile because deep
inside that sadness you hold are pictures
you've drawn of me and you all over your
heart.Then reality comes back into focus
and its just me looking over you again.
You'll be my shooting star wish if only i
could be the one you wish for at 11:11.
And as your head hits the pillow and
yoursoft brown hair falls into your eyes
you'll find me.
You put up this shield that make people
think you're strong enough to hear it all
but the way your eyes mist over when they
point out imperfections proves you're
only human.
Your story is only sad because you don't
see it's you who makes your dreams come
true.I wish I could make up for all those
sad stories you're writing but all i can
do now is change the ending.
Author notes
Wishes and Dreams- Stellar Kart
Well this is really rough im going to edit it tonight to make it flow better.
I recommend if you want more entries try sending notes to whatever groups you are in.
In a list
A contest entry
- Make me feel (pre-writes allowed) by Shacadia Shay.
410 points, ended September 10, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Amazing, The needs work on rhythm, but I love it anyway. Thank you for entering, good luck!
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I can try to make it have more rhythm if you want.
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ACE
really there's no need to edit that!!!
it's amazing,
i know im no expert but i swear thats amazing!!!
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can i use it i write songs and sing them
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amazing
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awshum imagery and flow, its like your painting a picture in my head with the emmotions, awshum write
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i really like this!great write and good luck
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I really like this. It's so sweet and sad. It's really beautifully written and the emotions come out so vividly. I like the descriptions and details you've used.
I just saw a few typos:
and its just me (it's)
Your be my shooting star wish (maybe it's supposed to be you'll be my shooting star wish?)
your soft brown hair fall into your eyes(falls into?)
your strong enough (you're)
your only human(you're)
you don't see its you who (it's)
sad stories your writing (you're)
Sorry for being so picky
I really enjoyed reading this. I think it's beautiful and so touching. Good luck in the contest doll!
♥
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Thanks your not being picky im really bad at grammar and punctuation i tend to forget it =[ so your just helping me improve
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okies
that's good
♥
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This is beautiful. I love this. I was caught by the the first line. great write ma. beautiful and well written.
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