Blood courses through her veins
As Evil spreads His vast wings,
Huddling His offspring together.
He wants this child like no other;
Chosen from the many observers –
Innocent, unknowing, fearful.
Curtains fall around the dimmed stage
The bloodied chalice raised in honor of Him.
Strong hands pass over her paralyzed body.
Hear their words and see their insipid faces –
And be taken to another realm of darkness.
Fear it is here she is left to die alone in agony.
Dull chanting off in the distance whirrs on.
Crumbling leaves beneath scurrying little feet
Speaks to her of comfort and life in another world –
He has left her here for now, bathing in His evil.
Taking flight into the ghostly shadows beyond,
Leaving her soiled spirit trailing in the cool mist.
pic: http://lwarecki.deviantart.com
Author notes
P A L O S Z O O
A true story about a girl (me) who suffered from years of ritual satanic abuse.
In a list
- Silver • next in list
- Abuse • next in list
- HM's • next in list
- Bronze • next in list
- Dark • next in list
A contest entry
- Life is about Options by Darkwell.
1050 points, ended September 1, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cryptic Entries by Acidanthra.
600 points, ended September 22, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything but gold... by SchizoChic.
450 points, ended October 3, 2008, 61 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Dark Call Has Sounded. Can you take it? by SheWasPreternatural.
1500 points, ended December 30, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewritten contest for all by serenity silvermoon.
490 points, ended January 30, 90 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Depths of Despair by Tristania.
625 points, ended April 23, 47 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ended November 9, 1072 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1092 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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This was really dark. I enjoyed reading this nicely written piece you have here. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.
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this piece really grabs the reader and as you read the author notes you realize why. i mean wow this was stunning to the point that you could tell from the begging it was based on truth and for the moments of reading this you could feel the hell.
great write
thanks for entering -
This was chilling, and terrifying - and fries my mind to a complete standstill to think that this is based on a true story ....
I can't imagine what you went through, have only done a little research into satanic rituals [after seeing a vague storyline on my favourite tv show] - and well ...
Certainly no critique here, this is your story, and part of who you are - nor could I possibly pick a 'favourite' part as nothing about this poem was pleasant..
I can only say that I am so sorry you had to go through this...
Thank you for sharing it with us though - and certainly providing an eye opener for some!
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Sorry i sent the message by accident! i also suffered severe satanic abuse.....i was a product of the devil...there fore i was evil and needed to be punished to be made better. and not so 'bad' please. I think we could really help eachother.
I am sorry for sounding so pathetic and desperate but i am! to be honest!
I mean i have never come across anyone who has suffered the same sort and severity of abuse as i have.
I really hope that we can become friends and talk.
Look forward to hearing from you -
Please, i am begging you, read some of my poems and message me. You are the first person i have met who has also been though ritual sadistic abuse.
Please i am begging you i would love to talk to you .
This is an amazing poem, so full of hurt, full of pain, full of the emotions that i also feel.
Please message me.
thank you for entering my contest. x -
very powerful poem that speaks great words. it rhymes here and there which is nice. but can you please put what i have requested in your AN though? thanksss for entering =]
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So sorry, I read your rules. Just forgot to go back and edit my poem. Thanks for pointing it out.
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Wow, that is abuse, tragic that anyone would do that to child. I am glad you are who you are today.
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This was well versed and had a chilling, dark flow to it. I think your 2nd stanza was the most stunning "Strong hands pass over her paralyzed body.
Hear their words and see their insipid faces –
And be taken to another realm of darkness.
Fear it is here she is left to die alone in agony" those 4 lines were screaming at me. Well done and good luck. -T
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This is a good poem...kinda sad that it's true. Thanks for entering
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Beautiful .Absoutely stunning. Thankyou afor entering this piece, and well done.
~*~DramaQueen469~*~ -
Wow, this is wonderful. I enjoyed every line to the fullest. Best of luck to you in this contest and in life.
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Awesome craft!! The darkness and evil actually spilled out with each line. I did notice in your notes that this was a true story and that makes this poem even more intense! You have crafted a masterful piece here. I enjoyed the read and the graphics as well...
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Great write, love that last line. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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All I can say is WOW! this is very dark and descriptive. You are very talented. I really enjoyed reading this poem. Im looking forward to reading some more of your writes! Once again really well done!
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ah well this is deff going to make finalist now i can read what its about
great write, sorry im slow
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im not sure what you mean about it being a true story
i am a little confused of the plot of this but it created an erie sense of what was happening. -
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This is about a little girl who underwent years of ritual satanic abuse.
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It is dark but good that is true and sort of gets into a more intropective struggle between the good and evil forces that some could say are battling for possesion of our souls.
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Sad so sad...abuse of a child is the worse evil there is.
favorite part:
"Taking flight into the ghostly shadows beyond,
leaving her soiled spirit trailing in the cool mist"
The abuser moves on but the one abused takes that pain with them throughout their lives.
Thanks for entering
darlintlc
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Thank you so much!
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You're very welcome and I hope to get around to reading more!
keep writing
darlintlc
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Wonderful!!! I love it! Cant think of much to write, i appericate this!!! I can relate to the feeling of this, evil taking over stealing the innocent ones. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!!! keep up the great write!
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Thank you so much!
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This has kind of went beyond my scope; are you feeling that perhaps the sacrifice is an exchange? of some sorts? at any rate, I appreciate your entry-thanks and good luck to you in some of the other contests I see you have entered with it lol
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wow this is chilling about sacrifices trhough the eyes of the sacrificee if thats a word
i also get this evil child abuse thing from this poem.
He wants this child like no other;
Chosen from the many observers –
Innocent, unknowing, fearful.
evil preys on the innocent. such a stirring penning WTG good luck in the contest -
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Thank you so much!
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Your comments
Thank you so much! :-)
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