Breathe in the fragments
of our present days,
for within whispering winds,
they will meet us tomorrow.
Exhale a promise,
a secret in faith,
it will remind us of
exactly who we were at
this given place and time.
Fog banks may lie across
the path ahead,
gathering in ritual
amid the moonlight.
Yet if we breathe in
our hopes and stardust,
I believe we will exhale
the magic to lift the fog
away from our feet.
Reach out amid this darkness.
I may not see beyond the
shadows engulfing, but I will
feel the grace of your hand.
My vision may grow dim,
but my senses will ignite
within the fire of your love.
I feel you in past and present:
My future sighs with life.
A contest entry
- breathe by Namita.
800 points, ended October 16, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is a lovely piece of poetry. I think my favorite is the second stanza, I felt like I could just sort of linger there. The last stanza is also wonderfully penned
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Excellent metaphors in this. I think you hit the prompt very well, in terms of thinking outside the box. Beautiful rhythm. Too many quotable sections, but I thought the third stanza was especially well done.
Good luck, and clappy dudes!
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Yes, yes and more yesses...I love the sentiments expressed herein lol and good luck in the contest


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For that Special Girl...
Your are powerful, beautiful and so blessed. I read your page and I have to say...you remind me of...me.
But, i'm much older, and see that you will reach the moonbeams that that few even dare to imagine.
This write is amazing...This stanza hit home, for real:
"Yet if we breathe in
our hopes and stardust,
I believe we will exhale
the magic to lift the fog
away from our feet"
Keep breathing in the stardust...for you will also lift the saddness that has fogged our world.
Glad to meet you.
LL


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Very ethereal and dreamy Val

I've missed your writing.
M -
excellent!
Very beautiful writing. You give some good advice in your poem.
I especially like:
"Yet if we breathe in
our hopes and stardust,
I believe we will exhale
the magic to lift the fog
away from our feet."
Jeannette


1 - 6 of 6





