Ill-timed leaves crumble beneath my feet.
The warm breeze tickling my bare back.
I feel you there enveloping my vacant core.
Lost am I since your untimely passing.
I am left to love your immortal ghost.
Wishing gentle touch still lingered there,
Once calming my trembling soul.
Bottomless blue eyes and kind spirited smile,
Still impressing upon my embittered heart.
My ghost still beautiful and loving me.
Sitting on the edge of insanity I see you there,
Clouding my dreams of what is real and not.
Unbearable hurt sneaking up to conquer me.
Past slipping beneath me as I try to hold on.
Piercing my spirit is lost to another world.
Trying hard to seize your soothing words,
Long ago spoken softly in my ear.
Spiraling without direction I need them now.
Fires ablaze within the deep chasm engulf me.
You are out of reach no longer my savior.
Dark and perilous are my poisoned secrets.
Held close and tightly to your warm chest.
Promises of never abandoning broken.
Early to the grave you fell carrying my pain,
Our shattered pieces falling to the earth.
My ghost he eludes me as I reach for him.
Touch of his hand is wind blowing through.
Voice grows fainter as brutal days pass.
How I long to be one with him in his world.
This love is killing me.
pic: http://1g4.deviantart.com/art/ghost-49891429
In a list
- Lost Love • next in list
- Mike • next in list
- Death • next in list
- HM's • next in list
- Silver • next in list
- Bronze • next in list
A contest entry
- Love Me Till The End by Sorrow is the name.
400 points, ended January 8, 50 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Thoughts & Emotions by albinoblacksheep720.
700 points, ended November 27, 2008, 43 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - all the prewrites you want (theres a catch) by serenity silvermoon.
400 points, ended January 7, 299 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 7 Promps to choose from ~Gold~1250 Silver~650 Bronze ~ 400 BIG POINTS # 5 is a TWO WORDs or more ENTRY by echo-ink.
2300 points, ended January 21, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To dwell on you... by Li snuffles.
700 points, ended February 16, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Song by SilentMoonlight.
2100 points, ended March 3, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1080 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Vacant core
Very good.I liked this entry,and I can find no negatives.There are no bad lines or any that do not seem to fit,they are all as strong as each other. -
Very beautiful and moving write, very nicely done, thank you for the entry. Best of luck in my contest.
~Menna -
I loved the poem it was completely wonderful.
good luck -
Not a fan of my chemical romance but I really loved you poem.
The Positives:
very well written and lot of interesting imgages
Room For Improvement:
Nothing I can see you did wonderful
My Favorite Part:
Sitting on the edge of insanity I see you there,
Clouding my dreams of what is real and not.
Unbearable hurt sneaking up to conquer me.
Past slipping beneath me as I try to hold on.
Piercing my spirit is lost to another world.
That part stood out big time!
Overall:
I give this an 7/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~ -
I'M SPEECHLESS!!!!
wow! one of the best I've read! I think that ou used the song well. I would just like to see you use indications on how to read it (, ; -) thins lie those. Good Luck! -
ohh this is a great piece of work and I can really feel this :-( enormous sense of loss and great imagery here. welldone on all those throphies xx
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Thankyou for entering in LoveNeverDies,
This is such a beautiful piece,
Filled with such sorrow from ones heart.
Thankyou for sharing
BestOfLuck
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This was a harsh slap in the face, something very close and painful. Everyone has their own ghost I suppose and not all of them are nice and treat us well.
Thank you for entering -
Hey my name is Nelena and I am your contest co-host.
Wow I am so very sorry for this pain. Is this true? If so...it seems so horrible to feel this way...unable to let go. And when the apparation disappears you are left with even more hurt then before, at being so close and then having them fade away. Beautifully penned, and wonderful wording. -
Sad and beautiful wrapped in one. Love of an immortal ghost, this was a somewhat differnt view than i had in mind for my contest. But i love how different things can be interpreted differently, different artist penning things so differently and yet saying similar things. The power of poems
thank you so much for entering and good luck
lisa..xxx
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this was really good, I feel how sad you are from your words.
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This was just beautiful, and hauntingly reached into my heart.
I am so sorry for the pain of your lost loved one.
This was awesome, thank you for entering it.
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Beautiful
This is beautiful it's so sad I can really feel you'r pain and longing in this poem. Exactally what I was hopeing for in this contest a beautiful interpretation
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Thanks for your entry. Good luck in the contest
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this is confusing at first read. its full of emotion, but even reading a second time, im not sure, but i think to me the flow is off. thank you for entering.
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Aw...
I'm so sorry. My friend went though with that too, only he didn't know until after her death that she had a disease. Anyway, the poem, you hit the nail. Outstanding, breath taking work. good work -
Very Well Done
Personally,
I think this poem is great beyond words
And I shall take it in consideration
Meaning you'll be a finalist
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This is so sad my sister. Filled with lost of a love that only comes around once for many people.
I hope you have found that kind of love in your life again.
"My ghost he eludes me as I reach for him"
"Touch of his hand is wind blowing through"
These words made me want to cry and I don't cry easily.
good luck in this contest
darlintlc aka Sis
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this is the most amazing thing that i have read
i love this so much it was so chilling
i mean i got this sensation over me that i cant explain to you
aww
this was amazing
i can see why you are proud -
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And this was one of the nicest comments I've ever received. Thank you, my niece ;-) You're already on my website.
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Wow this was just beautiful.
Excellent imagery and thoughts.
Filled with emotion.
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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"Dark and perilous are my poisoned secrets.
Held close and tightly to your warm chest.
Promises of never abandoning broken.
Early to the grave you fell carrying my pain,
Our shattered pieces falling to the earth"
i loooove this part this was perfect a very beautiful piece
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Thank you so much!
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