I woke up too late, you were gone
I realized it was time to move on,
so I climbed out of bed, washed my face
tried to find what was left of grace.
I packed what I could, left the rest,
had a look around at my empty nest,
I headed for home, headed for what?
Pushed the pain down deep in my gut.
I took your photos, I took day by day,
found in poetry what I needed to say,
I fixed an old house, I sailed an old boat,
swallowed past the lump in my throat.
I planted a garden, shared life with a ghost,
made a place here on this southern coast,
walked the beaches, swam in the sea,
came to accept what was not meant to be.
Years have passed, I’m still moving on,
making things right that once were wrong,
I take a deep breath, I climb out of bed
find joy with the living and peace with the dead.
Author notes
for Sam
In a list
- Other Poets-My Favorites • next in list
- Blue • next in list
- Mark Rickerby's Favorite Poems • next in list
- Beautiful Words by Beautiful People I Know • next in list
- Other Poets-Imagery Defined • next in list
A contest entry
- Go For The Gold/Rhymers by piccola.
500 points, ended August 31, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 86 of 86
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This is a beautiful poem with so many messages. I read it and it makes me
realize that there's has been times I've taken people for granted and then suddenly
you find they are no longer there. Sometimes just getting older and the
fear of losing those you love more than yourself can be a very frightening experience.
I can identify with the picture you picked. Great choice!
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Excellent, a true piece of work. You told a story with your words which pulled me right in and I know exactly what you must have been feeling. I've been there myself.
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Yep, best friend you got is you after that the rest is icing.
Love,
Tom B. -
This poem speaks to me.
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Wow!!
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something like this... i needed at the moment. my heart's been torn apart. by the person i barely see.. i feel so worthless. thanks for sharing
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you are not worthless...no matter how bad things are...remember this. It's so hard to get passed pain and grief and sorrow, but we are capable...we are stronger than we realize...we have to be, you know? Lane
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thank you so much for that wonderful thoughts.. i'll try to live with it *smile*
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Hey, I know this place.
His name wasn't Sam, it was Chris, and he died too. Bummer, we never made up after I left him. He was sooooo pissed at me, and he hated me, and I carried that guilt for years.
And when I found myself in California, single for the first time in years, and nothing to do with myself. . .yes, I had alot of time on my hands, for which to sit and stew. Okay, sorry. . .response was immediate, guess that's good. Used to, when I'd read something like this, I'd break down and not be able to say a word.
Guess Im growing up. From the feel of this write, looks like you are too. Fun sometimes, but others. . . .well
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Wonderful write, I see why it's spotlighted.
love,
jin
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Beautiful dear! Sad and yet endering all at the same time. Loss whether through love or death makes us more
Your pain has made you who you are and i would say that is a pretty good person
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This reminded me of why I'm thinking of you today.
Love, Peter -
In this I find the essence of my mother and a bit of myself. It is beautiful, deep, personal, emotional, and thought-provoking.
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We get past, we get older and if we are lucky can claim to be wiser. Some scars are road maps to memories and we have to recognize how deeply they are a turn in the soul we have made peace with only by accepting how much of ourselves is a part in which we were made.
Like the rhymes, nice change of pace.
Love, Tom B.
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you write so very clearly. It is both very articulate and precise. You know exactly what you are doing when it comes to writing and you do it well.
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Excellent
I like this poem. It speaks of hope where, at first, one would think none could be. BEAUTIFUL WRITE. -
Ohmygod this is absolutely wonderful and every thing you did, and every step you took to move on from the past is tinged with meaning and poignancy. Great job!
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Lovely
Ya, we've all sailed with ghosts of the past. They're always with us. Can't get away from them no matter how hard you try. They're a part of us.
You might swim to wash it off but the water is not hot enough and the soap will never be strong enough to rince the scent away.
And you can't and won't forget all those words...ever.
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Very great, but sad
Being truthfull, I didn't actually pay much attention to it until I reached the final two lines, you were right, after I read those last two lines I went back and looked back at the poem and saw what I was looking at the whole time -
Very personal and such beautiful visions of your home dancing in my mind.
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Nice!
This poem is quite amazing. Yey, some of the ryhmes were off. such as:
I headed for home, headed for what?
Pushed the pain down deep in my gut.
Years have passed, I’m still moving on,
making things right that once were wrong,
But none the less the emotions were expressed in a near-flawless way. -
You speak of such reaffirmed faith in life - and those last two lines have to be the only ones that have ever made me bite my tongue to stop the flood gates. I know not of any more honoring tribute
-joan.
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That was an outstanding poem. I can relate to the emotions that flow through it. I'm glad to here that you are strong enough to move on when most are not.
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Beautiful piece
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the rhyming is kind of tired, i think maybe this would be better if you didnt have it in your mind to rhyme.
it still is a great write, amazing
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WHAT AN INSPIRATIONAL WRITE...I HAVE EXPERIENCED A VERY SIMILAR SITUATION IN MY LIFE, BUT I GUESS WE ALL HAVE...HUH? LETTING GO AND MOVING PAST IS A VERY DIFFICULT THING TO DO...MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE WE ARE PERFECTIONISTS MY NATURE AND WE DAMN OURSELVES FOR A FAILURE. WHAT I HAVE LEARNED RECENTLY IS THAT EVERY FAILURE IS ONE STEP CLOSER TO A SUCCESS...GROWTH SHOULD BE EMBRASSED AS WELL AS CHANGE...IT TOOK ME MANY YEARS TO FIHURE THAT OUT BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
THANK YOU FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL WRITE AND FOR SHARING YOUR WISDOM.
NEVADAPOET
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"wow" was what first came to mind when I read this.
You rhyme so very well; that's one of my weaker points but obviously you are very talented in this department.
I really love reading this, and it's made me want to go look over some more of your wok =]
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This is absolutely beautiful.
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Great! Here's one also in acrostic form that can be sung to the tune of "Day by Day" hymn:
DAY BY DAY
D aily the Lord will lead me & guide me
A lways by my side
Y es, forsake not!
B elieve in His Word &
Y ield to His will
D are to venture for He is El-Shadai!
A lmighty God - a strong Tower & Shield
Y our Rock everlasting that will stand
O beying in full trust & confidence
K eep singing - Soli Deo Gloria!
Hope you'll like this acrostic.
agung halim
indonesia
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This is a beautifully touching work with a hopeful ending.
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Two words: absolutely brilliant. I think this is one of the best poems I've read om ap. Can surely relate. Great rhyming and great write! Xds-gX
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DeeP
this is definitely a poem the other people can connect with. that's the kind of work i prefer to read.
big up's to you. stay DEEEEEEEEEEP! PeAcE
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Beautiful
Perfect is all I can say. The rhyming is excellent, and the story it tells is inspiring. The last 2 lines are going in my inspirational quotes book =)
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lovely!
The Welsh have a saying: "for all wounds, the ointment of time"...this piece brings it quite strongly to mind. -
Those last two lines...I've been trying to do that for years. Sometimes it works.
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Wow, this is a great poem. Everyone can relate to this
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Great rhyming, succinct and tells a story with such clarity, reminding us in great comfort, that time is a great friend and healer.
I love it... feels so perfect and complete!
Sol
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Damn! This is powerful my dear.
Indeed I must agree the final lines are home runs, but in its entirity this piece speaks loud and clear.
A fv poet knocks the walls down on rhyme...fantastic.
Worth the spotlight Lane.
Peace and light
Passionspromise
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Agreed! My faith with rhyming poetry has been restored, this has been bookmarked, and the final two lines are now two of my favourites ever!
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your comment truly touched me. Thank you so much for coming by and reading Love, Lane
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Lovely poem...
in the true sense of poem; melancholy and sweet, it rhymes and flows gently and carries a nice message of persevering thro loss and heartache; uncluttered, a real treat! right up my street...
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Thank you so much for coming by Love, Lane
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The Beautiful Place you've reached!
Yes, I see Gold, not only on the prize that should be bestowed upon this write, but the gold that seeps from each word and sentiment, and the beautiful place you've reached.
Love this.
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well, I didn't win gold...or even place, but the true reward of writing poetry is to know that the poem is being read and appreciated. I thank you very much for your kind words and for the applause. Love, Lane
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This may be the first rhyming poem that I have read by you. It carries as much impact as a free verse piece, touching readers with knowing it had to come from the heart. I love rhyme and you are right, sometimes it just comes, when it does, you cant hold it back or alter it.
This is packed with emotion, I am so happy that I have come to know of a poet named Dalaney.
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Awesome!
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I could almost mistake this for one of those sad 'ol country songs bt of course it isn't. It is an excellent piece and I enjoyed the read. Happy trails.
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Thank you very much for reading this poem and for leaving your thoughts Love, Lane
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Oh this is excellent! I feel the emotion in this. I really do. Especially the ending where you find joy in the living and make peace with the dead. So well written. I like the words you choose. I like how you found a way to survive grief... which is my own personal experience is a very difficult thing to do.
I also love the picture of the girl looking out the window. Leads me to think of someone waiting for another. A lover, a friend, child, husband. Very good. You did well!
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your kind comment has made my day! Thank you so much. Love, Lane
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Life
Often we have and then have not leaving our hearts feeling empty. Such it is as I read this fine and so sad piece. But as the song goes.. Day by Day.
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I swear I commented on this already. I mean, I've read it multiple times. I tear up every single time I read this
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love, love it, as always with your poetry.
meg
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Outstanding
Wow, it's sadly unusual to find really good rhyming poetry. This was really, really good. The last stanza blew my socks off. Amid the great sadness in the poem, there is hope and strength. I think that's the best kind of poem.
Mark
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I have entered your contests, gazed at the avatars you use ... but never had you enter one of my contests ( nor have I ever placed in one of yours LOL) This is beautiful in it's own melancholy way. Your rhyme is right on and has a unique style that says, 'you' To me it speaks of letting go and moving on. Packing what you need but trying to leave the hurt behind. I love it! (bookmarking)
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I think many might look at this as a sad piece, but when I read it, it doesn't come off that way to me. More like a live and learn while learning to live type piece, you know? A you-are-gone-but-I'm-still-here type...an example of inner strength shining. Great job! Loved the rhyme as well.
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You made this rhyming quatrain an experience. I absolutely love it! I recited it out loud as I do with all rhyming poetry and this poem has a meter that is perfect for emotional image; it simply sings. This is not your usual style of poetry but the intonation, imagery and voice is defiantly you. You are of the best poets I have ever read and I am so blessed by your work. I love you!
Love,
Amera♥
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Lane,
Sam is smiling, with those deep blue eyes aglow. I picture this as one of the ones you took. That dreaded day is approching. My thoughts ,prayers will be with you.
You rhyme very well btw.
Joe
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Now if ever there was a moving on poem ths is it, so gracefully written, not without the sadness and pain of losing someone but with courage to do what some others can't and move on. Best to you
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Well said...I can feel the sadness and loneliness in every word...just trying to live from day to day, not knowing if you will be able to get up the next morning...Beautifully sad, beautifully blue...
-Garrett
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My Lady
You're right, sometimes it, rhyming is just there.
You never cease to amaze me, EVER!
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Oh wow Lane, this is a wonderful piece of poetry. I love the imagery in your words and the courage and determination that shines from every line. Good luck in the contest dear.
Love, Cathy
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wow!
powerful, moving, image-laden, and confirming..I LOVE THIS WRITE!
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Definitely written by a girl who has found comfort and strength in her own skin. How refreshing is that? I think this is an awesome write and it just says it like it is.
Well done.
Slayer
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Wow......I'm gone again....
Hilly
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Lane, this is good on so many levels and I bookmarked it in that you do not do rhyme that often. I'm going to come visit you one day Lane with a good bottle of peach brandy and smile.
With much love,
mj.
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lol You are starting to sound as though you have rhymed all your life dear friend. This is very very good. Love, C
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Rhyme? Wonderful rhyme? Awesome write, Laney.
This is a poem that I should have written. I could have spoken each word with complete, utter understanding and empathy. You have a unique gift of looking at each situation, real or imagined, and showing without telling your emotions. I will be the guy in leather at your book-signing tour with roses in hand. Please make this a reality, Delaney, you really are that good.
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Okay...it's a deal, but you don't need to bring roses. Just give me a ride on that bike Love, Lane
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I love you Lane.
Paul
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Another great piece!! I don't recall ever reading a rhyming piece of yours, but you've added rhyming without sacrificing much if anything as far as emotion and imagery. I like the poem a lot and absolutely love the last line, which is one of the most beautiful lines I've read in a very very long time. (Feel kind of repetitive saying this about every one of your poems I read but...) as always, nice write!!
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I don't rhyme very often but sometimes it comes. Thank you for reading and for leaving me such a nice comment. Love, Lane
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Rhyming, like life, is hard and doesn’t always come out the way we planned.
Nice work,
Love, Peter
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this is so true...Thank you for always being here for me. Love, Lane
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Huh.
You rhymed!! And pulled it off, might I add, which is impressive but not surprising.
Is there anything you CAN'T or DON'T do?
You don't use dirty pretty or pretentious language, so that's awesome.
"I packed what I could, left the rest,
had a look around at my empty nest,
I headed for home, headed for what?
Pushed the pain down deep in my gut."
Makes me think of a magpie and a lot of pain. Your imagery is achieved w/o annoying ass pretentious language.
"I took your photos, I took day by day,"
I think that could "the photos I took day by day"...maybe? Because "I took day by day" doesn't sound very right with "I took your photos".
Well, it doesn't sound right to me.
I am crazy.
"found in poetry what I needed to say,"
HELL YEAH!
"I fixed an old house, I sailed an old boat,
swallowed past the lump in my throat."
That's a new twist on the lump-in-my-throat analogy...swallowing "past"...I can imagine you on sea.
"I planted a garden, shared life with a ghost,
made a place here on this southern coast,
walked the beaches, swam in the sea,
came to accept what was not meant to be."
Awww that's sad & poignant...
"Years have passed, I’m still moving on,
making things right that once were wrong,
I take a deep breath, I climb out of bed
find joy with the living and peace with the dead."
LOVE that last line.
'tis haunting.
'tis good.
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A look at life through the glass of aquired wisdom. This is very well written Lane and flows easily. A pleasure to read.
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thank you very much. Love, Lane
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I don't see this as sad at all. It looks triumphant to me. I smiled broadly and shook my head at the comments below. Now I may have to agree that this is superfluous... but the poem is a delight to me. Where there is will there is hope.
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thank you. Love, Lane
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God, slammed my soul, picked it up and slammed it down twice more. Writes such as these, comments are utterly superfluous...
Len
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Lossing a relationship is hard. Your words hit home for alot of people.
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This is stunning ... the last stanza says it all ...
thanks for sharing your life.
Love
Sue
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Oh my Lane, this is just so, so sad... and beautifully written as always. It reminds me of a person going through the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's five stages of grief. I read it twice over.
Meg
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Great write...as ever
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Is this personal or just a wonderful poem? Or both?
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This is so beautifully sad, so beautiful.
Your poetry is such a beautiful memorial to him, and I hope you always find joy and peace, it seems a very fitting aim in life.
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