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Sly Mongoose

Oooo dat sly mongoose!

Slide in de coop again
an pick one plumpish hen.

Flatta she wid trickery:
“Watta a pretty chickee.”

Wid henish pride at pique,
she peck him pon de cheek.

Whilst chickee sway she hips,
ol’ mongoose lick him lips.

Oooo dat sly mongoose!

            …Rasta Rascal ©2004
            Jamaica, West Indies






A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • myron silver member
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    enjoyable

    Hi there. this is a very enjoyable poem, well detailed and nicely observed, with an interesting analogy between males and females.

    i like the metaphoric resonance you have created here.

    Thanks,
    Myron.


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Now I can say what a big smile this put on my face when I read it the first time...

    This is great!!!

    It's uniquely yours in natural rhythm and word, has a great light-hearted humour and on top of all that, it is also wonderfully believable.

    I find this expression from you, to be like a wonderful little 'snap-shot' on a heart of very good nature.

    Quite simply... I LOVE IT!

    Thank you and well done.

    Sol


  • Lucy.
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Haha! I love this, it's great!! I can hear this out loud so easily...you've written it very well.

    Whilst chickee sway she hips,
    ol’ mongoose lick him lips.
    Oooo dat sly mongoose!

    This is gorgeous! A fantastic entry into this contest. Best of luck!

  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    August 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for this wonderful entry. I will comment later.

    Sol