you judge yourself too lightly, as do they

so I want you to know
what poetry was-

to remember it raw, essentially
free of chiselled minds

before it was chewed into
pavement
when the concrete hadn't set
and every initial was only
a moment as promised

to live as itself
and of itself

unburdened by eternal sight,
unknown, intangibly yours;

to never be
broken by jealous teeth

or named
by sly lips shedding skin

one ounce of unaware
before the next

Author notes

Edits: 3

For Liza - who knows all this and more.

In a list

shiny things and added jewels • next in list

A contest entry

see not the flame, know the artist, and understand blood. (invite only) by apples fell. 400 points, ended September 25, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
apples fell
August 30, 2008

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Liza is wonderful, isn't she?
With that said, poetry has always been a difficult thing for me to define for myself...Not in terms of how other people write...But just me in general. I always think that if we were not able to understand the little moments in-between, like you have done, it would be a very sad and quite different world. I have read this multiple times and am surprised it only says three edits...As the writing itself feels much more refined than that. Perhaps this should be a mantra for people who do not find their voice so easily...Even me. The last few images here are wonderful. This fires like little bursts of energy. A strong piece.

Thanks so much for entering and good luck.

;
ArtFullyMe
August 29, 2008

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back again to say .. thank you .. now that I have the voice to do it with..
this couldn't have been more timely or more beautiful to find, and the words within it will stay inside my mind and if I need to I will repeat them over and over as a mantra.
girl shaman
August 28, 2008

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i dont believe i can be critical with this one because to be honest it is perfection at its best and i do mean perfection. every line was almost like if you crafted them and the expression was magnificant! i adore this.. i truley do. im so glad your on my faovrites
Rowan
August 28, 2008
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What a spectacular ending kate. Loved this, no critiques.
NurseChilly
August 28, 2008

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i am lost for words at the moment, so i shall just say...

you hit the nail on the head and gave strength and definition to this story, so beautifully

this is what friendship is for..
love this
Randomly Beautiful
August 27, 2008
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Cannonsfire
August 27, 2008

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I think by the undefined soul of this is why it reads so well, loved it. C
Cerulean Sunrise
August 27, 2008
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Very deep. I can't explain what this makes me feel.

Well done.
iverbthenoun
August 27, 2008
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ArtFullyMe
August 27, 2008
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Tirrell
August 27, 2008

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I love the cosmic feeling of this write, the intense imagery is simply fasinating and amazing, the reader is highly enjoying the write as is, and seeing the beauty penned within.
Nicolette
August 27, 2008
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beautiful, kate - loved this, as always...

~ Nicolette
Suzanne Dia
August 27, 2008

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Yep
this is a spoonful of the right medicine
no clear definition
but the heart of the story
where it sits and waits to be told
without a corset to constrict breath
and suffocate creativity.

That's what I think.
- EvilKate
  August 27, 2008
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  Hrmmm ... I'm not sure that I can appreciated the pejorative use of corset like this