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Return Address Unknown

     I got your letter today

     smiled as I lay in bed

     with eyes closed

     imagining,

     even before I opened the envelope

     what you were feeling

     as you wrote everything,

     even the address

     guessing wrongly,

     I read the harsh, black, scars

     left on the page for me to find
     feeling the pressure of your pen

     through the paper

     and ink damp upon my fingers

     I wish letters came with warnings

     and not just a return address

     crying into my pillow

     I blame you

     but you can't hear me

     I tear your accusations into squares

     that make lacy snow-patterns

     drifting upon the sheets

     they cover your picture

     .   .   .   with dust


 

Author notes

Quote as inspiration...

"when all we look for
is a kind word
and all we catch
is a stab to the heart..."
Grey Mouser

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • catz Moderators member
    January 1

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    I've felt this kind of pain, hearing from a loved one with happiness in my heart and then the big stabbing pain of heartbreak when it turned out to be the opposite kind of letter. Family can do this to us, expecially our children. I guess some things have to besuffered through before they can understand our feelings and the hurt involved.

    Your poem expresses the pain, the hurt we're left with, Kimberly... an excellent piece.

    Happy New Year

    Dee


  • camus gold member
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I may be wrong but I don't feel that this is a lover spurned - it is deeper than that, something more enduring and more profound. I liked the poem for many reasons - its strength lies in your deliberate avoidance of the overstatement of emotions. The employment of the letter "p" was effective in the 3rd stanza since it reinforced the sense of shock and dismay. The pain was more pronounced, more potent because it was implicit rather than explicit.
    Tony


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really really loved this piece, Iloved the second verse,the likening of painful words to scars, the pressure of a pen, indirectly likened to a knife. This really depicts the cruelty of love. This was relly moving, and yet not gushy Thanks


  • Meej
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    first off i have to comment that i love the stanza


    I tear your accusations into squares

    that make lacy snow-patterns

    drifting upon the sheets

    it creates fabulous imagery in my head. Theres something so pure about that description, contrasted harshly against the reality of the situation.

    It sounds like you've had a terrible time with things and i hope it gets better for you soon.


  • Midnight Lace
    September 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing and beautiful work as always.
    ~Midnight Lace


  • Rusty Nail
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have read this several times now and each time I do, the tears just seem to fall around me. This is very moving. I thought it should have gotten more than a mere honorable mention. The gold must have really been something.
    Rusty Nail


  • suseann
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ouch! Openned one such letter as this myself. Great descriptions and deep feeling flowed lucid in this. I loved the pressed scars or stab wounds on the paper implied.As well as the eat my dust in "back at ya"ending.All bolsterous brave aside. It's a heart wrenching drama piece.Well verse Poetess!


  • Lyndon gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely poem.

    Yes, a touch of wonder.
    A person being incommunicado can be just as devastating online. Luv ya! Ron (aka Lyndon).


  • leo2
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the HM. Thankfully, I've never received such a letter but I can imagine how devastating it could be. I hope this was just an entry in a contest and did not happen for real.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long

  • Lost Luggage
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!

    Powerful stuff here! This is one poem you never want to come true! But then, with such a tender soul as yours, I really don't think there's much chance of that. I can't begin to imagine what writes took the top three places if this was but an HM! I suspect you can garner better adulation in other contests with this piece. Best of luck on it future potential!


  • myrataal silver member
    August 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well expressed ...

    and poemed with emotion. Letters always carry with them the intentions of their writers ... but is often written without reflecting on the receipt thereof. Words should be penned with full understanding of their meanings and consequences.

    I can relate to this poem.



    Love
    Myra


  • wattle silver member
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ms 1der, you always write the most compelling reads. This one is even better; it's horrible to receive unjust mail from out of the blue. ---- I like (the poet and the poem) Thank you


  • Grey Mouser
    August 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is heartbreaking, seeing the promise of wonder turned into the barbs of pain and suffering, wrought by the object of affection. Very moving and sad, well written and many thanks for entering into the contest.
    Be well and be blessed,
    Mouser


  • faderman1959
    August 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Words can hurt as much as anything when spoken with anger and hate. Such a sad emotional poem but as superbly done as always lady!


  • Wandika gold member
    August 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Whew

    That was sadly wonderful.

    Jim


  • TXCowgirl
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A feel a deep emotional kinship here. There is a meeting of the minds and the hearts on this one. It suits the quote perfectly. Good luck!
    TxCowgirl


  • SeptemberFaith
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like your view on this quote. Lord knows, my heart is in shoes of the girl in this poem.I actually feel a pang in my heart for the love that was not returned.. and for the girl, crying into her pillow...

    Criss


  • TheRealDeal
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This one tugs at the heart strings and won't let go. I have 3 sisters and it almost reminds me of those old high school days when that dreaded letter came telling them it was time to date other people. My sister's were always certain that they would never love again and they had lost their one true love. The emotions here of course go much deeper than that and seer the soul. Good luck in your contest here.
    JLG


  • MargaretG
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    accurate

    As one who has been there, this caught the feeling very well, as does the quote you wrote from. I'm sorry for the recipient, and I have learned to pity the one who acts out in this way. We grieve our losses and then return the hugs we get. Blessings to you, and good luck!


    • Touchof1der silver member
      August 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      It hurts me because I call still feel her pain even at this moment. The hope she held and the happiness that sang in her voice when she got a letter from her son... it changed her whole demeanor and then in mere seconds, she was diminished to a pile of limp limbs on the floor, screaming and begging for understanding.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, very deep and sad.
    Such a brilliant take on this
    quoted prompt. It's a terrible
    feeling to find something so dark
    and sad as you open up what you
    think is something so beautiful
    and positive. It's very heart
    breaking. Lovely work here my
    friend and good luck to you!





    Jeremy0826


    • Touchof1der silver member
      August 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Jeremy. Sadly, this happened to my sister-in-law just this past weekend and the heartbreak I saw in her eyes nearly brought me to my knees.

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