She cries tears of jewels
in the darkest of night
afraid that someone might hear
she muffles the sobs with her fist
in the darkest of night
she prays for piece of mind
she muffles the sobs with her fist
please God, hear her prayers
she prays for piece of mind
please God, hear her prayers
she cries tears of jewels
A contest entry
- My first contest, please help !!! Allowing PW,s by justgot2loveme.
2200 points, ended October 13, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
any thoughts?
Comments
-
I fell in love with the title,
the poem is so sad.
Heartbreaking to cry in the night.
Good luck in the contest.
Justgot2loveme
-
This is a wonderful form of repetition you have used to create this very emotional piece filled with pain and suffering.
Beautifully penned
My best to you in this contest!
Linda
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I think what makes this is the repetition. The desperate sadness just drips off this.
Nicely done, and clappy dudes!
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This is very sad lass.
Sad because you put the reader there with you.
In such a way of avoiding the " crying in my beer" piece.
I see a beautiful heroin,
suffering in silence,
as if her tears were payment
to have her prayers heard.
Excellent piece ...there was a royalty to it...
a Lady Jane .....damsel in waiting.....
Just a fine piece of poetry.
Many blessings gypsy,
LOWELL
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