Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Jewels


She cries tears of jewels
in the darkest of night
afraid that someone might hear
she muffles the sobs with her fist
in the darkest of night
she prays for piece of mind
she muffles the sobs with her fist
please God, hear her prayers
she prays for piece of mind
please God, hear her prayers
she cries tears of jewels

A contest entry

any thoughts?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • justgot2loveme
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I fell in love with the title,
    the poem is so sad.
    Heartbreaking to cry in the night.
    Good luck in the contest.

    Justgot2loveme


  • jasminerose
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful form of repetition you have used to create this very emotional piece filled with pain and suffering.
    Beautifully penned
    My best to you in this contest!
    Linda

  • kraazk05
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think what makes this is the repetition. The desperate sadness just drips off this.

    Nicely done, and clappy dudes!


  • Lowell Poe
    August 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is very sad lass.
    Sad because you put the reader there with you.
    In such a way of avoiding the " crying in my beer" piece.
    I see a beautiful heroin,
    suffering in silence,
    as if her tears were payment
    to have her prayers heard.
    Excellent piece ...there was a royalty to it...
    a Lady Jane .....damsel in waiting.....
    Just a fine piece of poetry.

    Many blessings gypsy,
    LOWELL