My fragile heart of glass,
And the love that it releases,
Has been hit by a hammer,
And smashed into pieces.
I felt I jumped off a cliff,
And I was flying high,
Because when he was with me,
I soared across the sky.
But when we broke up,
He stole my wings,
And I have been falling,
Thinking of things.
He stole my heart,
And wouldn't let go,
And then he broke it,
And now I know.
He's a criminal, a thief,
Always dressed in black,
He broke my heart and now I know,
I'll never get it back.
This drama has killed me,
Deep inside my mind,
And now I'm not looking for love,
Because I've left my heart behind.
Author notes
This is a poem that I wrote for this contest because I recently broke up with my boyfriend who I loved so much. I changed a lot for him and I can't undo them changes. It just shows how uncaring and unfaithful some guys can be...
This falls under Option 4.
Ruthlyn.
A contest entry
- everyone loves an options contest :] by etoile.
300 points, ended September 9, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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at times the rhyming seemed forced, but in some places i actually liked it.
But when we broke up,
He stole my wings,
And I have been falling,
Thinking of things.
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i like that stanza.. but the last line seems out of place.
i really liked the first 2 stanzas
thanks for entering and goodluck
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wow this is cool. its really good. the 3rd line of the 5th paragraph didnt fit thou but a good poem
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Very good poem. I liked the part "I felt I jumped off a cliff, And I was flying high, Because when he was with me, I soared across the sky. But when we broke up,
He stole my wings, And I have been falling, Thinking of things." It really shows what you've been through. One part that I felt was off was the third line of the fifth paragraph. You lost your rhyme there alittle bit. But overall, a great poem.
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He stole my heart,
And wouldn't let go,
And then he broke it,
And now I know.
I like that
but I didn't like the whole thing.
the flow/rhyming seemed forced in places.
good luck
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Yah
I understand how some guys can be. Very good poem. Keep writing!
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