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Patience is medicine

Every action has its reaction.
Good deeds bring wonderful fruits.
Undesirable works make things worse.
Any problem can have two kinds of effect,
One is to lose and the other is to gain.
We generally get worried if lose.
But gain either never exists for ever.
So it is futile to think it all over if we lose.
A better day will definitely come.
Alcohol or drug is only to forget
The sorrow, we have, temporarily.
It reduces, on the contrary, fighting spirit.
Both sorrow and joy are cyclic.
So it is prudent to keep quiet
And wait for the happier time.
If fish out of water goes on jumping
It hardly goes back to water,
Rather it dies early.

      ***

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Coffer
    September 29

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    Great work. This is more inspiring than the other contestants pieces, and I love it. Great work, it's simple but the simplicity doesn't take any light from the meaning. Great job, and the best of luck to you in the contest.

    -Nathan


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    September 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great piece with a wonderful metapher too. You left me wanting to read more of this, it could use a little tidying to get rid of unnecessary repetative wording but great all the same. Best to you in the contest


  • darkangel-darksoul
    June 19

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    wow... good job... i love it... i love the referece back to the fish keeps jumping... thanks for your entry.


  • Truetome
    June 7

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    well stated message here in this write ::: glad I stopped in for the read. good luck in this contest. thank you much for the reminder:::


  • Loki silver member
    June 7
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    I do love the overall piece of writing here. Congratulations on your previous gold. Only a few grammatical corrections that I ran across.

    I think there should be a "we" in line 6 between if and lose.
    Line 7 is missing something, not sure what it is.
    Line 16 might need an "A" between "if" and "fish".

    All in all a good write though. Best of luck int he contest.


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    May 7

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    this is a good write and i congratulate you on the gold you have already earned. thank you for entering and i wish you well in this contest. viyanna rosemarie


  • drifting cloud silver member
    March 7
    Edit | Reply
    Well constructed. I like the fish out of water phrase!


  • Nicada silver member
    March 6

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    You have great rhythm and flow in this poem and I like the strong and vivid imagery. A very unique write. Thanks somuch for entering. Blessings, Patty


  • Rhythm Child
    February 1
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for your entry.


  • xXxIceQueenxXx
    December 10, 2008

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    Wow. I definitely liked that poem A LOT!!

    "If fish out of water goes on jumping
    It hardly goes back to water,
    Rather it dies early".

    Beautiful write! Thanks for entering it in our contest!


  • DramaQueen469 silver member
    October 23, 2008

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    This is really lovely; the flow is beautiful and what a FANTASTIC message! Well done and thankyou for entering

    ~*~DramaQueen469~*~


  • Kimojuno
    October 7, 2008

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    The flow and the rhyme in this poem is stupendous. You really know how to pen it well, and it shows through your work.

    You may not think so but this is a really good write,
    Jeff.


  • whiterabbit.
    September 19, 2008

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    I really like your thoughts behind this piece.
    There are a few typos and a few places where it seems that you've left out a word or so. If you do a read through you should catch them.
    Good job and thanks for entering.

  • raymondsgirl8708
    September 13, 2008
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    very interesting and wonderful write, thank you for entering.


  • BellaD
    September 6, 2008

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    Another great poem. Love the title and the strong imagery of the fish in the final lines. So much wisdom in your words! Very well done.


  • AlCaponesSister
    August 31, 2008

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    Poetry!

    Thank you, I loooove this piece. Poetic and empathetic, a beauty in the kindness of strangers. You don't know how much this touched my heart. Thank you one thousand times.


  • rhondasail
    August 27, 2008

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    "So it is futile to think it all over if we lose" and

    "Both sorrow and joy are cyclic.
    So it is prudent to keep quiet
    And wait for the happier time.
    If fish out of water goes on jumping
    It hardly goes back to water,
    Rather it dies early."

    This last part, about the fish, is so strong an image and so well portrayed. And so very true. I did not look at the contest rules for this because I feel the poem can stand on its own...best of luck. Peace, Rhonda

1 - 17 of 17