Warm against my arm
Your fingers intertwined in mine
I revel in the smell of your hair as I whisper in your ear
We walk in the wintery park of late November
You frown
Reminding me with beautiful eyes
December 21st is the day that Fall dies
I shrug, desperately trying to memorize everything that is you
The way your lips curve right before you smile
The way your eyes shimmer right before you whisper something true
The way you cling to me after I've kissed you
Unwilling to part even but a few inches
You...
...scold me for not paying attention
Though I know you love it when I daydream
while lost in your eyes
Hotdog vendor you display your splendor
Resplendently portrayed with mustard yellows
And ketchup reds
I let go of her hand
Digging for my wallet
Buying two condiment laden conies
I turn back and-
You're gone.
I drop the food and look frantically about
I run and search
I scream and shout
No one has seen her
No one knows where
No one cares
And when I go back to ask the hotdog vendor what he saw
He said you were never there.
Author notes
Entry-2 Thanks for wonderfully inspiring title dear friend. I await your next...
A contest entry
- what ever u want by mcrfan322.
400 points, ended October 5, 2008, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - give me your silver winning poems; win gold. by epitome.
400 points, ended September 14, 29 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Remind me there is love in the world by kay772.
400 points, ended November 21, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES!! Emotion please!! by Graciee.
550 points, ended November 24, 208 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Respect is asked for, given and understood... :)
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Awww, this is sweet. The reader captures how you feel about the love you are speaking about. That is great. Good job. This is an outstanding poem. Good job and good luck in the contest
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my beautiful winner!
i loved this; it isn't often that a poem breaks my heart. Everyone imagines that someone, but i believed you completely, fell in love with you both as a couple readily, and was so engaged by the end, well.
you have an imagination to die for, i think you're amazing and you use rhyme stunningly.
i'm gushing.
but hell, i connected to it, and i can tell i'd prolly fall in love with you for writing this
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Thank you
To be honest (as if I would desire to be dishonest
) I, as a poet, want others to praise my work, but it's comments like yours that make me a little uncomfortable 
just hoping that I can measure up to that kind of praise. If you happen to read any more of my stuff I only hope that you enjoy it.
IC C -
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Oh i understand, and honestly, you didn't have the best vocabulary of the contest, and I felt lines two and eight were a little awkward; but for me this poem was beyond the words and the form, it was the concept and the way i related to it.
I'm not calling you the next Keats, I just think you have a beautiful understanding of this idea and you drew me in (: -
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That helps. It's nice to have some criticism in an AP world of well done's and good job's.
I appreciate the follow-up.
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Oh my god!
What a twist, I was not expecting that ending. The start of the poem made me so happy! and towards the end my jaw was just getting closer and closer to the floor.
Beautiful imagery throughout though, I especially love the lines :
The way you cling to me after I've kissed you
Unwilling to part even but a few inches
So cute.
Well done, an excellent poem and one I truly enjoyed reading.
ElectricBloom
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Beautiful. I loved it. It reminds me of frequent dreams I have. I love the hotdog vendor.
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Wow! The imagery here is amazing and the ending is quite a surprise. It keeps one guessing. Nice poem, and thanks so much for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty
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great peom...i enjoyed it alot... it was that perfect mix between dark and depressing... u did a great job... keep it up... i cant wait to read more.... i hope you enjoyed entering in my contest and i hope you win... best luck to you
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This is a twist that just leaves you standing there with that faint somberness invading your eyes when the realization hits you like a brick. Everything about this poem was very poignant; the diction, form, imagery. I really feel for the speaker because I think we all have experiences like this at some point.
Really, this is lovely. Good luck in the contest.
Brit
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Yes!
Oh wow! I love, love this! I also adore the imagery in this and the flow is great! I am left stunned and a little sad but I truly loved this!
Thanks for entering,
Good luck!
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Oh wow! This has wonderful imagery and is perfect for telling on a stormy night! Thanks so much for sharing it with me.
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My god, this was absolutely brilliant!
I was hooked from the beginning and everything about it made me read on.
Once I got to the "You're gone." my jaw dropped!
Perfect emotion and perfect imagery!
I don't think I can give any critique.
Good luck!
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Love the details of this, the sweet and soft adoration of a woman combined with the every day details of the weather, what you're going to eat ect make this poem feel real. I kinda like the quirkiness of choosing a hot dog vendor
and, again, another one where the woman was never there.
You need to stop daydreaming of this woman and start going after her mr. haha
Loved the write.
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I'm not ready, nor will I ever be. God will lead her to me and I to her when he is ready.
I must focus not on finding my Mrs. Right, but rather I must pour myself into becoming Mr. Right so that when we are intrusted to each other I am able to love her as I aught.
But I do so want to search for her. Thus I write.
And pray.
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