My silver tongue sharpened by demons of paranoia,
I watched as gravel began to crumble from
my lips scraping away at the arteries
of my affection.
Torn- unable to retreat.
I swelled at her scorn and
turned my back to her compromise.
With the setting of the moon,
sorrow was upon me once again
as tiny visions of my massacre
addressed me.
What had I done?
How had I betrayed my
own inspiration?
Turning tables and rising
from my own eager prejudice,
I approached my beloved
once more.
Worlds shifted and spirits collide,
as I looked upon the face of anger...
shaken only by the love behind her eyes.
Consecrating humility,
my inspiration on the brink
of salvation through
fervent penance.
Author notes
This (as you may have figured) is a shortened story of saying the wrong thing. Ending with a very nervous meeting to try and salvage what I so carelessly pushed aside.
For the contest, I guess this would be option #7 and I would be called Forsaken.
A contest entry
- Write What You Will! by limechic.
725 points, ended September 1, 2008, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Can you feel my pulse?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I so much adore reading your more vulnerable & revealing pieces, you're much deeper & more sensitive than you'd like to let people believe...
but i see right through,
you can't hide. lol.
beautiful poem,
i loved it ♥ -
great write i really like this..you explained yourself so well!!!! keep on penning hon!!
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wow this is amazing hun, i really enjoyed reading this, its so beautiful. and your word choice is excellent! it defiantly kept me reading!
all mu love
kitty xxx -
this was a great write keep up the great work.
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I really loved the first two stanzas, it was strong and the word choice drew me in....I felt it weakened a little in some of the middle but picked back up by the end....in the last stanza, the idea of inspiration on the brink of salvation was intriguing.....I missed your writing and I am glad you're back....now you better stick around!
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wonderfully written keeps your attention the whole way down and understanding completly inmy own way of course its been awhile since i've read you its always a treat
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This is eloquently written. Sometimes when we are so full of passion, we find ourselves in this place of where we can not control our own anger. We that forgive so easily, sometimes say the unforgivable. The only thing to do in the aftermath is to forgive ourselves and create art from our own destruction. It seems as though you've done that already. Nice write!
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Wow this is really good...the imagery is amazing and it flowed so well! I've felt exactly the same...especially this stanza:
Worlds shifted and spirits collide,
as I looked upon the face of anger...
shaken only by the love behind her eyes
It's like you know me lol...great job, good luck in the contest!
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You... are... unbelievably fantastic.
The passion, the word choices, the way you weave obscure metaphores and emotion and circumstance...
Oh word smith, thou art legendary with thine words!!
^.^
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poweful indeed....
Torn- unable to retreat.
I swelled at her scorn and
turned my back to compromise.
Lessons we all struggle to not choke upon!
Written so devinely, dark and lovely,
pierces right thru all excuses of the mind,
with piercing consequences. ouch! been there-done
that too! I've got this great scar on my heart,
wanna see it? way to write!
ears/Seattle
we should pin this up on all our bathroom mirrors!
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