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Poisoned

Shattered deep in anxiety,
She tastes the forbidden fruit,
Poisoned, her soul wont return,
Slowly entering eternal sleep,
One last wish to see him again,
She fails.



Author notes

I chose option 5, here is the link. http://chaim-mishaal.deviantart.com/art/Bye-Bye-Beautiful-72888978 I tried free verse, not sure if it turned out ok, but i always try something new

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • SignifyingNothing
    October 14, 2008
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    Wow, this is powerful. So much emotional power packed in just a few lines. Really quite an incredible write.

    I sense the sorrow of the person who dies for love, ending her life with the desire to see her loved one again- and then the utter tragedy of her NOT seeing him again. A simple story, but unutterably said, and you really did justice to the theme.


  • Sunkissed xo
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A truly beautiful poem. Deep, seductive and sparkling like dark honey.. I love it! The line: "slowly entering eternal sleep" really caught my eye, and the simple ending of "she fails" is excellent, it ties the poem up really effectively. a great read! well done!
    xx


  • stavykm gold member
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    This Is Sad

    So well versed with so few words. Shattered deep in anxiety, then at the end She fails. Congradultions on the HM. Thank you for sharing with me.
    Many Blessings
    Kelle Marie


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a beautiful but very sad poem. you did an excellent job with the prompt. do have a question though.
    third line third word is "sole" did you mean to say "soul"?

    good luck in the contest

    kat


  • LadyDementia gold member
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It turned out beautifully Such a sad poem, wonderfully penned. Good luck


  • fairytalelovestory
    August 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. good luck..


  • Bosiarbooger gold member
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo well done

    This is perfect. Just perfect. I really enjoyed this right from the opening line. Great job Best of luck in the contest, Boog

1 - 7 of 7