This hallowed path
These weakened dreams
they never turn out fair
the fear that only comes with wrath
and restless nights with screams
If only life would somehow care
This silence it feels like retribution
The awkwardness in me
These feelings I could never part with
Will always weaken me
Like a fledgling flies
These broken lies
they'll always remember all
feeling so misused and fated
every step a fall
this conversation never ending
the lives we live untold
through broken hearts
and severed starts
we'll always have this wall
Author notes
erm
A contest entry
- A Contest for your Muse!!! -- by Florida Sunshine.
450 points, ended September 17, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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My heart too, has been broken countless times, from 'early' childhood memories -- through current. Some could had been controlled, others couldn't. I've loved and lost -- my soul has been shattered in shards that cut right through me. As time ticks by... the wounds heal, but the memories remain... haunting me... stalking me... Yet, I've learned this pain will not be the better part of me... I will use this pain to reach out to prevent others from hurting too, and consoling those who already do.
A passionate write ~ filled with all kinds of emotion
Thanks so much for sharing this with me, I hope you find a way to mend from the inside out ~ and I'd always listen -- if you ever need an ear.
Touching poem...
Best of luck to you,
Florida Sunshine
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Thanks
actually she and i are in a very close friendship and we hope to keep it that way for a very long time. just the emotions are still there of what could have been instead of what is.. and sorry i dont need another ear... have too many vents at the minute. keeps my engine nice and cool and level headed. but thanks for the comment. -
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I'm sorry-- I hope I didn't offend by the offer... Your poetry moved me -- to the point of just wanted to give comfort.
You did a terrific job. -- again I'm sorry if I overstep any bounds. -
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Thanks
Nah its fine. and thanks for the offer just dont need it at this point in time.
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Some very evocative imagery here really makes this piece engage the reader. Very appropriate use of figurative devices and imagery throughout. Sad and poignant mood which is well sustained. Excellent write, thanks for sharing. Good luck in your contest.
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Your poem portrays endless sorrow and I like that. Especially relate to "This silence it feels like retribution". Incredibly well written.
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erm is right Steve. It has a much sadder and hopeless feel than what you have been writing lately. But I feel like I can relate to it. The last stanza is my favorite, especially "this conversation never ending", not sure why..I guess just the idea of life being a conversation. I dont know if thats what you ment by it..still.
Best wishes
*huggs*
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