I'm absolutely terrified.
The finest of cannibals have nothing on you.
Somehow, they can't eat my heart like you do.
Awkward silence scares me into thinking
somethings got your tongue
Obviously I'm not the only one.
Your eyes flutter across the room
Is there cyanide in my eyes?
Or is there something hidden within your
[lack of}
Soul
That dismal tone shatters your facade
You Fucking Liar
I'm Sorry
I've got seniority in this library
I can read you like a Book.
Peach was always so trashy
So I spread cherry across my
Lips
Yet now I'm tasting fruit punch
So, I'm going to spike the bowl.
I hope you choke on your Arteries
Eat
Your
Heart
Out
Author notes
1) My Name is Ivory and i've been writing since i was five. =] Much better now, i hope.
2) This is actually my most recent piece and i don't know. I just really connect with it and i am proud of my metaphors. ^^
Option 6 Dirty Pretty
I know there are alot of really good dirty pretty writers so show me what you think your best dirty pretty poem is but remember no poems that have won gold/silver/or bronze.
APName: Poetic Obscenity
A contest entry
- Lots Of Options by stargazer..
525 points, ended December 27, 2008, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SHOW ME YOUR BEST...Anything Goes by nevadapoet.
900 points, ended September 12, 2008, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Idk.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This had some pretty good lines, the opening was nice. You did misspell 'seniority' and the line 'You fucking liar' I felt kinda interrupted the piece with sudden and unfounded aggression especially since you start the piece out in subdued terror unless you're trying to hint at bipolar reactions. Not bad and good luck in the contest.
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Thank you
For the correction. I Will fix that right away.
Yes, There were two very distinct parts in which the speakers own "facade" falters..Just like when a girl is crying to you..She'll be calm..and explain..But there will be those few points where she gets close to screaming...
Thank you.
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What a beautiful write, a great entry for this contest. A perfectly penned write with great flow and good imagery. Thank you for the entry. Keep the pen flowing...the pleasure was all mine.
Nevadapoet -
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Why thank you, =]
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Your metaphors and intense eeriness invades my conscience' barriers, and I find myself lost but content in your words of pure talent to captivate the reader.
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=]]
Why, thaaaank you dearie!! <333 ya.
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i'm >> I is a proper noun so it should be I'm
Apart from this, this really is amazing sweetie
your metaphors and imagery is amazing sweetie
all my love
kitty xxx
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Thaaaank you
=] <3333
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Very open language, and very well put as ever.
Well done. -
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Thank you dearie. I suppose i'm just glad you understood it, atleast i hope you did.
I had to explain it to others, many times. Especially the..
" Peach was always so trashy
So I spread cherry across my
Lips
Yet now i'm tasting fruit punch
So, i'm going to spike the bowl."
Yes. That part. lol.
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Very good, disturbing, but very good
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Thank you
Glad you liked it, even though it disturbed you. That can be a good thing, right?
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