Determine, each, to be at peace
Opposing each others beliefs
Violence; not the proper release
Enmity must needs surcease!
Sorrow has been the resultant end
Oneness in diversity that cannot rend
Nothing less must be what we intend
Generations of peace is what we can send
A contest entry
- Dove Song by Shya.
600 points, ended September 21, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I noticed that this was an acrostic poem, and for that it's done well. However, I feel that some of the phrases sound forced, and therefore the poem does not flow as well as it could. For example, instead of what you have for the first line, you could write "Determined to be at peace, and not" which would go write on to "Opposing eachother's beliefs". Hope this helps. Thanks for entering! Shya
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