I'm Sorry (not really a poem)

I’m sorry I spend three hours on the phone with you, helping you finish that project you should have started a month ago because it’s due tomorrow, even though I know that I should just let you get the bad grade and learn to get things done on time.

I’m sorry I care enough to be a good friend and tell you when you need to stop right where you are and think about what you’re doing.

I’m sorry you don’t understand how difficult it is for me to listen to you describe your dream girlfriend, because I’m finding every difference and similarity between her and me.

I’m sorry I understand why you have to go after her, and why your heart is broken when you realize that no matter how strong your feelings are, she doesn’t return them.

I’m sorry that everything that happens to me reminds me of you and the things that we have done together that no one else would ever understand.

I’m sorry I want to help you with everything, even if there is nothing in it for me, because I want to see you succeed.

I’m sorry I tell you corny jokes when you are having a horrible day, just to make you smile, because when you do it makes my day better.

I’m sorry I’ve never stopped being your friend, no matter whether you were angry, obnoxious, or a jerk, because I could always see that part of you that is sweet and loving, even when everyone else had given up on you.

I’m sorry I helped you figure out the best ways to make her notice you as more than a friend, all the while wondering if the same things would work with you if I tried them.

I’m sorry I stayed on the phone with you for hours the first week you were dating her, because I listened to every wonderful thing you said about her and agreed with them, although my heart was aching for the kind of love that you were describing.

I’m sorry I didn’t always understand why you thought she was perfect for you, because I saw the flaws she had and I didn’t want to see her hurt you.

I’m sorry I’m always the one you call in the middle of the night because she dumped you and you feel like you’ll never love again.

I’m sorry I came over to your house when you were in shock because she deserted you and stayed there listening to you talk about how you thought she was the one, and how now your life will never be the same.

I’m sorry I don’t let you do the idiotic things that you want to do when you’re hurt, because I know you’ll regret them later.

I’m sorry I try to comfort you when you’re heartbroken and tell you that it will all work out eventually, because I don’t want you to be sad.

I’m sorry I always reassure you that you’ll find that perfect girl someday, even when my own heart is breaking because I love you so much and I know that the man who is perfect for me is standing in front of me and doesn’t know how I feel.

I’m sorry I am so happy when you find a girl who seems just right for you, even when she is my best friend and I just want to cry because I love both of you…but I despise the fact that you two can be together as you and I will never have the chance to be.

I’m sorry I watch you two dance over and over again, forcing myself to accept the fact that you are hers and that there is nothing I can do about it.

I’m sorry I love her for making you happier than you have ever been, even though it breaks my heart that I cannot do the same for you.

I’m sorry I love you so much that I’m willing to sacrifice any chance that I could have with you in order to avoid the risks and make sure that you always have a friend to listen to your problems.

I’m sorry I can’t find anything appealing about any other man, because they all pale in comparison to you, despite everything about them that should attract me.

I’m sorry I can’t just get over you and move on, because that would be so much easier than attempting to explain to myself why I can’t get my mind off of you.

I’m sorry you will never see how much I love you and that the love for which you keep searching is right here waiting for you if you would only look.

I’m sorry that you will never realize that everything I have done for you over the years was not just because I love you, but because you are my friend, and that matters more to me than any other relationship I could ever have.

I’m sorry that there will always be a piece of my heart that loves you and wishes that you loved me in return, because I know that it will hurt me to think of you, no matter how many years pass or how many times I tell myself that it would never work and I need to let you go and let myself move on.

Most of all, I’m sorry that I don’t regret loving you, even though you never loved me back, even though you did so many things that hurt me, and even though my life will never be the same as it would have been if I had spent these years loving someone who loved me, because you are the one whom I have always loved, and that love was enough to keep me from protesting when you sought happiness, and found it in another woman’s arms.