Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Sometimes I Wish I Had Never Loved You

With the quiet stillness of my dark and empty room
I often give way to thoughts
that I sometimes cannot explain.

Like the thought that some times I wish I could hate you.
That would be so much easier for me. 
Or so I sometimes think.

If only I could convince this shattered heart of mine
that I never loved you.

If only I could erase
all the lies that I have told myself about you.
That I could see you
not with love filled eyes
but as others might see you.

Still, as I quickly come back to my senses
I realize that by not having loved you
I would have missed so much joy in my life.

Like our long walks
in the many gardens
we found on the various worlds we visited.

Playing in the warm waters
of the oceans of your home world,

The all night card games
with our friends that would last
late into the wee hours of the morning.

Most of all though
I would miss the times when we would just sit
quietly arm in arm
lazily gazing out into a moon filled sky
just enjoying each others company.
These were happy times for me.

Yet with much pain and trepidation I also recall
that terrible time when you left me.
I remember all the pain……
all the grief……
all the loss
that I suffered with your departure. 

Now, I can honestly tell you
that my heart
was completely shattered into a million pieces.

That my restless Soul
still aches terribly to have you near me. 
Nothing else can ease its pain.

Sadly, though,
as time has passed me by,
I have learned,
that there will be no gentle touches
to soothe my aching heart.

No super-human strength
for me to lean on
when times get bad.

No love
to face a cruel universe with. 
Without you my friend
Walking with me through out this life
I have nothing……
nothing but this Soul crushing emptiness.

Without you, I feel that I am only a shadow.
A specter of what was
living only on the memories
of what we had before.

Therefore, you can understand
why it is
that sometimes
when I am alone
and hurting
that I think of you
and how it was when we were together
and I wonder
would it have been easier
if I could tell myself that I never loved you.  

Author notes

I think this sort of fits in with the statement would you... my line "would it have been easier if I could tell myself that I had never loved you" kind of fits don'tcha think.  Hope so.

That's what you get when you let your heart win

one of my best I think

Name is trekkergirl

favorite color is blue

favorite number is 15

Random word... is, well it is I.D.I.C. which stands for infinite diversity in infinite combinations it is from star trek. It means that we accept others for who and what they are... that we accept others for the things that they can show us. We allow them room to grow and be who they are. Also, that we accept that everyone is important in their own way.

It is one of my favorite words.

t r e k k e r g i r l

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 34 of 34

  • LonelyAngel
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    This is so heartbreaking and deep, I was nearly crying. I wwish I could write such description, it was clever and clear so,

    Well done,
    Thank You,
    Good Luck.

    xYx

  • division
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this. I thought the little imagery was beautiful, even though I wished you would've added more. I liked the message as well. I thought the poem was "wordy" in some places, though. Perhaps editing would help? I'm going to say no, but please audition for season two! thanks for auditioning!


  • brokenheartedchild
    July 23

    Edit | Reply
    I'm going to say yes because it is a good poem....just remember when you put your name in your AN it needs to be s p a c e d o u t or I cant see it if you could please fix that that would be great.

    xoxoZOExoxo


  • Unbreakable3
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    So Sad and so longing, with such hidden angst and sorrow. Beautiful job! The wording was soo perfect! Thank you for letting me read this!


  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    July 14
    Edit | Reply
    That was a great poem. Great descriptions and so sad and pretty.

    Favorite lines: Still, as I quickly come back to my senses
    I realize that by not having loved you
    I would have missed so much joy in my life.

    The descriptions after that make the poem great too.

    Needs improvement: It rambles a bit, but it kept my attention. That's good for long poems.

    Overall grade: 9

    Great job!


  • Still Standing gold member
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    great job friend this brought tears to my eyes because I am going through the same thing congrats on your wins!


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    April 3
    Edit | Reply
    I relate a lot to trying to convince myself that I didn't love someone and never wanted to, it's so hard to live with the truth sometimes.
    Very interesting 'trek phrase, never heard of it before, then I'm not normally a big sci-fi fan, though some great quotes have come from Wars/Trek.


  • DarkShard
    March 30

    Edit | Reply
    we have all thought and felt like this before. your very emotional when you write. and for that I applaud you. it was very good but it is a tough competition and I don't know if it was enough to totally blow me away.
    I can't really explain why because a poem is liked by an individual and just becasue it doesnt grab me doesnt mean that it is rubbish in any way shape or form. it was technically brilliant, the style the theme the control you had but i gued, for me the emotion didnt hit me like i feel it should have done. am i making any sense?
    i think it was your diction in places that you could improve on if you think i make sense. choose your wow words with a bit more wow. and then I might be wowed. lol
    a lovely read. thankyou very much for your entry.


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    March 22
    Edit | Reply
    omg thats alot of contests that you have enterd but i think they dont do this poem justice


  • August Starlight silver member
    March 21

    Edit | Reply
    This is so emotional and relateable. I was drawn in by your story and I can definitely remember a time when I was in that position. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • Symphony
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    This was very emotional, very sad -

    All the questions of 'what if' and 'if only' never do us any good to ponder on, because they speak of a power that none of us possess - to either go back and change things, or else to magically plan how things will turn out, and make that come true - which is usually out of our hands.

    One of the opening lines was my favourite part,

    "Like the thought that some times I wish I could hate you.
    That would be so much easier for me. " <-- very moving, and indeed wouldn't it just be so much easier if we could flip emotions as we like -

    On the whole, I found this to be a very powerfully moving poem, and I reckon quite a lot of people will identify with it hugely!

    Thanks for entering


  • xLovingxMyxAngelx
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    wow so powerful and emotional.


  • Li snuffles
    February 4
    Edit | Reply
    wow! i could realte to this so well. Everything i have thought whilst sitting on my own. I do know that i also would have missed much joy and i would not have had my beautiful son. Thank you for sharing this poem...

    good luck and keep up th good work...xxx


  • halfpast4ever
    February 2
    Edit | Reply
    Without you, I feel that I am only a shadow.
    A specter of what was
    living only on the memories
    of what we had before.
    my favorite line. this poem has so much truth in it and it takes alot of time and pain to realize that you dont want to erase what you had before! truly beautiful. good luck and thankyou

  • daftweejimmy
    February 2

    Edit | Reply

    I feel old....

    ...but then, I am. I hate to trot out the cliches about time healing and changing, giving new perspectives, but I just wonder if, a year from now, this will seem a little immature?

    Don't get me wrong, I am in favour of youth and energy and whole-heartedness in everything you do. But isn't it amazing how many shattered, broken hearts, later partner hearts which were once in the same dire condition? Even stranger, perhaps, is the fact that the love that's tempered by this experience is more thoughtful, stronger, more considerate through the enrichment of the experience. Just a thought.


  • StarEyes
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    Oh how I can relate to every feeling, every emotion in this heartwrenching read! OMG! Do you know how many times I have asked myself those same questions And like you, I have no answers, but I do know that I can not unlove that one special person, they taught me more in this life, than anyone else, and more than life itself. The pain is never ending and hurts like nothing I have ever felt before.

    You really captured what my heart feels, better than I seem to find a way to say it.

    Best of luck in this contest!


  • Temptation.
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    wow. i cried. =[ this is so heartbreaking and true... i feel this way all the time and i can do nothing about it. its terrible to feel this way and it hurts so much. thanks for entering and good luck


  • Megan Awesome
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    We all have someone, I think, we wish we had never loved. I think this poem was a little long for the topic, and it seemed to drag on a little. But it was written pretty well. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!!!
    Megan


  • heavenbird
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    AP name in author's notes pretty please. =]


  • Megan Awesome
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Read my rules please


  • everyone1 gold member
    December 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Great piece here ...


    Honest ...
    Endearing ...
    Touching ...

    Peace be yours friend. True love never ends. My losses have proven to me this. Time has been my best friend. I will admit though, I still can't quit her. All I can ask God to help me do is cherish the memories; and try as best I can to move on.

    God bless ...

    ~ James ~


  • Stevie.me
    December 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellant Piece

    I judged your poem on 5 criteria on a scale from 1 to 5

    Use of the 5 senses- 4 you only used 3 senses but you used them very well

    Metaphors- 3.5 I thought they were ok but not many of them were fresh ones i never heard before

    Feeling- 5 gee whiz did I feel moved

    Unity- 4.5 almost perfect unity but was a little confused as to whither the "homeworld" and other planet related stuff was a metaphor

    flow- 4.4 very good except a couple of hiccups

    average rating- 4.28 Excellant Job

  • Quietly Breaking
    December 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow...i wish i were judging this contest! yours would definitely be my gold trophy! this was amazing...i honestly have no words to describe it. the feeling you put in this...beautiful...
    "would it have been easier if I could tell myself that I had never loved you" is my FAVORITE line...its exactly what i feel all the time...
    absolutely beautiful...i loved it...and have read it over and over!!

    • trekkergirl
      December 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks glad that you liked this so much. It is a favorite of mine as well. Thanks for sharing your wonderful comments with me. I do appreciate it.


  • deercatcher
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Maturity
    is the ability
    to see
    reality instead
    of perception.

    Denial is God's gift to survive until you find someone you trust enough to explain how the world works.


  • Lislaine
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. I loved this line
    would it have been easier if I could tell myself that I had never loved you..
    I guess most of the persons that had their heart broken can so relate to this poem
    Ur an awesome poet!!


    • trekkergirl
      December 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks. I have read your work too and you too are awesome! Thanks for sharing your comment.


  • Beret55 silver member
    September 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That was so sad, and heart felt. A very good write..


  • ourgirlFriday
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Reminiscing now...

    About an earlier version of Star Trek, where the crew contracts a space sickness from the water of a disintegrating planet - the one where Sulu chases everyone with a rapier down the corridors, Nurse Chapel is lovestruck over Spock, and he get all emotional about his mother. And other episodes, like "Paradise."

    • trekkergirl
      December 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      The title of that episode I believe is called Naked Time. And Kirk and Spock are also affected by that same illness. A very interesting episode in that Spock shows how much he cares for his mother by telling Kirk that he never told her he loved her.


  • x--nocturnia--x
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Oh, I'll accept it -
    this piece holds beautiful heartbreak and squeezes it tightly -- very well written and so sad...

    thankyou for entering best of luck to you!!

1 - 34 of 34