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When


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the warmth
that abides in me
flees,
in the Winter
when the trees are still
on the small hill
between the great forests
those great oaks
surrounding the spring
where lisa waits
tangled by the
golden threads.

When I am still
and write no more;
still she'll know
I did for Beauty's sake,
for her alone,
naked in the Holy Grove
the bruises I endured
the sacred spring
the wonder in the budding trees,
the walk we take alone.


Author notes

Written January 17th, 2004

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Comments

1 - 44 of 44

  • Spiritvision angel
    March 25, 2007

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    OMG! Whats to say? This is absolutely beautiful with a peaceful feeling and the imagery is great. I enjoyed reading this very much..


  • Muirghiel
    March 25, 2007

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    I know I've seen this before, but I didn't say anything. I'm still hard-pressed for words. The rest of the world held in winter's thrall, and this singular spring so sacred that draws you.


  • Plastic Dreams
    March 25, 2007

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    with any mention of trees and finding oneself amongst the many wonders of imaginative days, i find myself at ease. The piece is gorgeous in manner.


  • Muirghiel
    March 22, 2007
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    When you are dead, she will know you loved her

    Beautiful and sad


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 22, 2007
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    Loved the flow of these lines, the soothing quality this poem has - peaceful with deep thoughts- images of this special place with an enduring feel. Liked the brevity of the lines and the message you share in these lines. When...


  • wordsick
    January 5, 2007

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    I really enjoyed reading this. Seems to have quite a bit of imagery woven into these lines. Excellent feature... keep up the good work.


  • Namita
    January 5, 2007
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    Wow!
    This is simply beautiful
    I love the way you wrote this.
    It has it's own unique scent, flavor and beauty.
    it's just so wow!
    And hope I have a better time to comment when my AP friend just found out my password and is posting her stupid poems!!
    Later.

    Luv,
    Candy


  • Trellis
    January 5, 2007
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    Trees belong in poetry - a lot.

    This is soft and willowy. Very nice.

    Cris

  • Stormraven
    January 5, 2007
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    This is really beautiful , Storm


  • candyinchelsea
    September 29, 2006
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    this poem,
    felt like a dream
    it took me to a very magical place.


  • soulfultia gold member
    September 29, 2006
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    Good poem

    This really paints a vivid picture and has great flow carrying you through the read effortlessly... what a wonderful write. I enjoyed the imagery as well as your choice of descriptive words for us to absorb through the read. Thanks for sharing this piece with us and keep penning poet! ~Tia


  • Spiritvision angel
    September 29, 2006
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    Beautiful,feeling,imaginative way with words and descriptions of nature, pain and love..Thank you so much


  • The FeliX
    September 29, 2006
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    wonderful

    i loved the imagery and the beautifuly simplistic structure of the poem. i think every reader takes something different froma poem like this and i really enjoy that it appeals so a vast majority. this is very well written and the subtle hauting themes are celverly understanded behind the gorgeous descriptive language.
    excellent write!

    hollow X


  • marmalade
    September 29, 2006
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    Beautifully written, very calming and a gorgeous use of words, your poem flowed effortlessly from start to finish


  • Gypsys Soul
    September 29, 2006
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    very soothing flow to it really great work here i liked it very much


  • JohnWaynePalsy
    September 29, 2006
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    great write

    really good write here,i love the line-when i am still-its so plain and simple but completely haunting.in fact i think i have a crush on the whole second verse.im not sure if thats due to my loving its first line so much or what but im diggin it for sure.


  • cvillelisa
    September 24, 2006
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    I'm being egoic. I can since you are gold and its my birthday and I can find all your Lisa poems.

    This one is nice.


  • Pollycheck
    May 17, 2006
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    Thumbs Up

    This is a very good poem. The meter just flows and when read aloud it is pleasing to the ear. The best part of the poem is definitely the following phrase:

    When I am still
    and write no more;
    still she'll know
    I did for Beauty's sake,
    for her alone,

    This phrase just seems to flow right off your tongue when you read it.

  • purplecandysky
    May 17, 2006
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    i like the way it flows the best.

  • PalmettoSky
    May 17, 2006
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    'This writing is simply marvelous! I enjoyed this piece immensely. I definitely wasn't expecting all of the stuff between the first line and the ending statement.All in all, very enjoyable. Thought provoking, Imaginative, and I loved your creative imagery. Your carefully chosen words painted a picture as I read your poetic work of art. Well done and thank you for sharing. Keep up the great work. Best of wishes to you. good luck in all that you do....peace always in all ways. You rock....

  • hazydreams
    May 17, 2006
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    Beautiful, Sweet

    Beautiful written the words are lovely. Best wishes to you in all you.


  • H4rd Kisses
    May 17, 2006
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    yay!

    This was a really flowing well written piece. The rhythm just pours down the screen effortlessly. The imagery and beautiful words are outstanding. And I don't know if it was just me but I could really feel a lot of honesty coming from behind this piece. As if it were true to you in life. That's a very touching aspect to have to any good poem. Great write, very well done! Thanks for the great read, keep writing! -- Stacey


  • WritingKitten
    May 17, 2006
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    Wonderful free verse poem. I really liked this poem. Don't stop writing.

    Katie

  • Ir.muse
    May 17, 2006
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    A nice piece dear friend.

  • XxAsianBabexX
    September 20, 2005
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    this was very good...if there was a part to copy and paste in this comment it would be the whole poem...lol...its nice but i had to read over it in order for me to remember what i ahd read...lol...can you reaturn the favor and check my poems out as well? I would applaude but i have no more left....and i would use my points but im trying to save them so i can start my contest...but in one of your other poems i will surely remember to applaude...okay.


  • cvillelisa
    February 26, 2004
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    sigh


  • February 12, 2004
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    Good write. Maybe "When Trees Still" or "When Lisa Waits" for a title.

    Good meter quiets this poem in the first stanza and coils it for the unwinding in the second stanza.

    I like the first stanza best with the trees still/hill rhyme.

    Good good write.


  • maria
    February 1, 2004
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    It's not that I'm a sceptic about love or about love as poetry, or even about expressing anything (or everything) poetically. We do breath don't we. We do love don't we. We do take the walks alone. Something very mysterious and subtle about your poetic voice. But I guess that is style...and love as well. Thank you, Maria


  • Lakota
    January 23, 2004
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    It is weirdly romantic and alluring very interesting beautiful write Lutey

    Lakota x


  • rhiannon 11
    January 22, 2004
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    There is a Love here that whispers tenderness and resonates class....every Womyn should be so lucky.

    Sarah


  • January 22, 2004
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    It's like the quiet, still part in Sleep Beauty, when the whole world rests just because she does.

    "When I am still".

    It's very peaceful. I like what That Worm said as well but most of all I like
    "I did for Beauty's sake,
    for her alone,"

    Lovely.


  • Desiree Darkk
    January 20, 2004
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    beyond beautiful

    This is lovely.
    Makes me all warm and fuzzy.
    Love the second stanza. Amazing words and that's not crap either. Enjoyed.

    Desiree

  • Odyssey
    January 18, 2004
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    For you would touch her face
    The palm of your hand so warm
    Rough and time worn against her cheek
    Such contrast with her soft, she speaks
    And your heart, it warns you of a fall
    You can hardly hear it at all, you jump
    Into open arms that catch you and inspire
    And you write her so beautiful forever more.

    ~

    Just lovely Lute. Oh to be written of in this manner.


  • RollingStone silver member
    January 18, 2004
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    this has an elegant beauty to it that is just...touching.
    lute pours love onto his page and it flows into a poem made of
    warmth and deep affection and grace. just a magnificent write!


  • January 18, 2004
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    Sometimes lines have a certain quality, and I have no idea why: a 'rightness', that makes you just shift a little in your seat. First five lines of second stanza had that effect: an uncanniness.


  • myrataal silver member
    January 18, 2004
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    Lute-wise

    Do You Know the Face of your Beloved?

    Do you know the face of your Beloved -
    the way her eyes search a path of Sight?
    Within the dark woods, the dark skies, the dark ocean,
    her eyes are ablaze with Love ...
    She is carrying the Sun to the shores of Desolution
    She is searching for the hands of her Beloved,
    his touch, his tears, the movement of his Soul within her Soul ...

    "the walk they take alone"

    You must love your Lisa very much, dearest Lute, to write her into Eternity

    Myra


  • macandrew
    January 17, 2004
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    Excellent

    Beautifully done. This was a real pleasure to read. Extremely well written and full of wonderful images. Might just be my medieval mind but it had a read Celtic feel to it.

    thanks,

    John


  • Judas Denied
    January 17, 2004
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    For a relatively short piece, you have expressed everything wonderfully. The part about doing it for Beauty's sake was really and truly an amazing statement. One I think that many would agree with. And in a way, I have no idea why, but it made me think of Poe's "Alone". Good stuff, Lutester.


  • Celtic Nomad silver member
    January 17, 2004
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    this is heavy with mythology/pagan symbolism, and has depths I feel unable to plumb right now, at 2am! I think you've expressed yourself beautifully here, without being drawn into a long piece, and have left the reader with more questions than you are ever going to answer. I really liked the atmosphere of this, the anticipatory sensation - almost predictive. Very mystic, dear Lute.


  • Smilingspider
    January 17, 2004
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    'and we would learn that to be alone together can sometimes mean that we are alone, the warmth that I gave you is taken from me.'

    I think it is me, but this has an underlying fog in it, I see but I cannot see thingy.

    Still you have placed my mind upon a frozen mountain.

    Jules.


  • Nam
    January 17, 2004
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    This piece can directly relate to me, for I am in love with a girl named Lisa and at least I am in the 'the walk we take alone.'

    Anyways, a lovely piece that you have written here.



  • Juliet D
    January 17, 2004
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    Was listening to "Behind Blue Eyes" while reading this and it seemed fitting...

    sacred tree groves makes me think of old ways and pagan rites, and winter trees stand so brave and black, waiting to be kissed by spring.

    ~Scarlet

  • Valkricry
    January 17, 2004
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    Sweet. Misty memories?


  • MermaidSinging
    January 17, 2004
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    Hmmm...wandering around in woods again are we? Should be careful of the poison ivy, makes itchy skin and bumps and things. Not very pleasant. Just saying. Although I agree about "wonder in the budding trees", makes me long for spring.

    --- more flowers and stuff.

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