They always end the same.
Always start good
Full of love full of Joy
It always end the same.
It just turns into a toy
Something that is played with
Before reading the instructions
It always end the same
It will end in destruction.
I don’t see what is so special
It always ends the same
Ends in heartache
Ends in pain.
People break up.
People Die.
It always ends the same.
People Cry.
Your insides rot away
Your soul turns black
Your heart Deteriorates
Your whole life cracks.
Cracks can only be filled
but never put back together.
Once your heart is broken
It can’t be put back together.
They always end the same.
People Break up.
People Cry.
People Cut.
People Die.
A contest entry
- star crossed lovers by Cerbie20.
1325 points, ended August 31, 2008, 87 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dalaney Contest 9 'Feelings' by Sue Cardwell.
650 points, ended September 7, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - September is Suicide Awerness and Pervention Month by FallenFromGrace1102.
2620 points, ended October 3, 2008, 70 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Great write I really liked this. keep it up i wish you the best of luck in my contest and thank you for entering this piece. even though you didn't put the stuff in your authors notes i asked for i don't care anymore. i really liked the lines:
"Your insides rot away
Your soul turns black
Your heart Deteriorates
Your whole life cracks."
*~*bee*~* -
This verse;
"Cracks can only be filled
but never put back together.
Once your heart is broken
It can’t be put back together."
Made me think, because I think hearts can be put back together but not in the saem way as they were before ... but i loved the imagery of the cracks only being filled; nice job!
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Simply Profound
Wow! I like the rhyme pattern. Good idea of playing before reading the instructions - bad idea that is ending in destruction. Always ends the same, ends in pain. The flow is really so smooth and soothing. People Die, People Cry - the use of capitalization to grab the attention: good work! Unique thinking or feeling I must say - cracks can only be filled but never can they be put back together. Hmmm, the repetition of 'put back together' as .....once your heart is broken, it can't be put back together is so damn good. And a single line separately again - they always end the same. Break up is really horrible indeed! You just wrote simply a profound piece.
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It makes me sad. But i like it.
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This poem is brilliant! I love it
My favorite paragraph is this one:
'Something that is played with
Before reading the instructions
It always end the same
It will end in destruction.'
its so witty and true.. I love the reality of it.
Great hopes and dreams to us all
Gud luck in the contest, may we both do well
-RoseDaughter-
p.s thx for commenting on my poem heart of grazed ice, you are really supportive
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Thank you for your entry in the contest, an interesting read.
All the best in the contest
Sue and Jeff
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Hey thanks for the comment =]
Hope it was what you were looking for =] Good luck judging, I know it must be hard.
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Whew... wow, this is intense. and you did a good juob with the rhyming. a really good job! i really like this poem. good job. really, really really good job.
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