I.
This is what I told them.
When I killed those kids
I did not realize it was a dream.
That the blood
Splattering on the windows of the school bus
Making beautiful patterns
wasn’t really there
And that sweet moment when
I hooked my gleaming knife
beneath some blonde kid’s jugular
Was only brain waves.
But I could think clearly, as it happened
Kill this one, Wound that one,
Leave this one untouched,
Letting the survivor’s guilt
Burn ten times sharper.
II.
This is what I told them:
That when I was twelve
I learned about the man
who stood at the gates of Auschwitz.
And the people from the cattle cars
Lined up to be divided,
Some to death
and some to life.
I cried.
I cried because it was so sweet
To imagine standing there, parting my classmates
Like the sheep and the goats.
You- you laughed at me
the day I wore that shirt
To the left!
And you, you talk a bit too loud
You, your grades are just too good
You are just plain damn annoying
Left! Left! Left!
In my mind I sent them to death a thousand times.
III.
This is what I told them.
All these authors,
They write about killing people
But how many of them really know
how soft a throat can feel
Beneath your hands?
How the eyes look up at you,
and the person fights less
as the minutes tick by.
Slowly skin begins to turn
red, then blue, then black,
and tounges expand
when I am through.
I sometimes kiss those swollen lips,
Drinking in the sweet taste
of death's saliva.
Author notes
http://www.helium.com/items/1243567-murderous-love-poetry
A contest entry
- Pre-writes, new poems, Anything by Hello...No.One.Home.
525 points, ended September 24, 2008, 104 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Halloween Warm-up by Tom The Invader.
450 points, ended September 12, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BRING IN THE DARKNESS by lovingpoet.
745 points, ended April 5, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST: HIDEOUS ADULT HORROR & BLOODTHIRSTY BONE-CRUSHING EROTIC TERROR (No one aged under 20) by Count Orlok.
350 points, ended November 2, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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I liked the idea that you have been inspired by Auschwitz. That is a nice touch. The man to whom you refer is of course the naughty Dr Mengele - he actually didn't stand by the gates, but patrolled the railway platforms, looking very smart in his SS uniform. Please accept my apologies for the delay in judging this contest but I am recovering from having been crucified by some amateur vampire-hunters.
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Excellent
A most intriguing drk write, indeed. You have expressed your thoughts quite well. Thank you for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.
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wow, way to shock, i must say i enjoyed this, felt a little scared whilst reading but that's what you wanted lol anyway i enjoyed this take care
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the justice in this poem is finallized
you didnt hold back
thats a poet, one who does not hold bac -
nice write..
I found it pretty unique.
But I did not understand if the character in this poem is actually a murderer or it's just his dream?
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this reminds me of ICP.. you've done well. You've got a 2 for this poem which gives you a total of 78 points. Thanks for entering the contest and best of luck to you. kahy
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This reminds me of "American Psycho", some people did not "get" that much of it was taking place inside his head, "The Wall" suffered in this way as well. A delightful look inside the mind gone away. If this is a vision of personal darkness as per the guidelines, get some help
good luck in the contest
Peace
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diffrent thank you for entering
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Though the subject matter horrifies, it is exceptionally written
Very powerful in an alarming way -
Wow. That is... wow.
Wow. -
this is well done. wow excellent job with this piece. it was readable and very impactful. well done
-deadly -
if these are your own thoughts, then you are a little sick, and im scared.
if theyre not, then you have incredible talent as a writer and im in awe.
either way, you managed to make quite an impression. well done.
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Ok this is a well written piece, but yea a little too realistic for my liking. The character, oh my god I hope it’s a character, is flawless, you didn't drop cover at all. You're last lines are especially genius. Not many people can get into the head of someone like that so well done for a truly unique, even if terrifyingly realistic, piece.
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O.O
okayyyy...
very vivid.
*supresses a shudder*
okay, i shouldn't talk. i've written some pretty awful character studies myself. as long as you don't really kill children i am able to appreciate this as a well-written poem. -
this is a sick poem how could you write about killing children this is horrible i felt sick while trying to read this...
someone that writes like this must have a bit of a sick mind..maybe want to gt checked over!
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this really scares me. you have such a vivid (and scary might i add) imagination. nice write!
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SCARY
Sooo....have they realeased you yet? LOL....Good writing, but creepy as hell.
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Good god. This made me gasp. Sounds so real, like a murderer's revenge on society, You can feel it in your stomach.
Just too real.
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Holy Molly... this was so scary! Fantastic! I love this kind of poetry. Best dark poem I have read. I feel privileged to have read it. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!
Dani. -
Brrrrr...
Ooooh shivery scary!!! Made me think of people that shoot up their high schools. I am a little confused as to whether the school bus incident "really" happened (hence the reporters?) or was it just a "flight of fancy?" Either way, you never know what people are thinking. You are Officially Creepy When You Want To Be. Though I already knew that
I would have putten (ha!) periods after "shirt" and "annoying," for rhythm and accentuation.
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Wow. It sounds as if you have. . . experience. Great write and well done!
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5th line from the bottom you might want to correctly spell "tongues." Besides that Wow, this was very chilling. I too felt that I was reading something out of a killer's diary. Great write.
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I felt I was reading a murderer's hand book or diary entry, this feels chillingly all too real.
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*shiver* and thats how a death is meant to feel on your hands.
I love the lines;
I cried because it was so sweet
To imagine standing there, parting my classmates
Like the sheep and the goats.
There were so many images flowing into my mind.
I love it.
Rose
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oh damn thats creepy. soo creepy...
i loved it! that was one amazing write. you freak me out!
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Wow!
Drinking in the sweet taste of death's saliva....WOW...now that's expressive poetry. I liked how you wrote this and sharing your feelings. GOOD ONE!!
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