satin lips spoil skin;
intoxicating aroma
arouses deep thirst
casting a shadow
over my withering form;
stubble burns soft flesh
arched towards heaven,
kisses escape between moans
explosion as one
A contest entry
- Sensual Haiku by Dalaney.
1050 points, ended August 26, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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why arn't you on my favorites?
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wow!
Thats really good, tells the story but allows you to paint the picture yourself. I liked it. -
Naughty
That looks like the best sex ive ever read...haha. I liked all of it. Original.
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Nice, I like it. I am always surprised at how much a good haiku poem can get across. I think you captured every aspect of this kind of passion, from "deep thirst" to "arched towards heaven". I like the use of heaven in that phrase, as well, as it portrays that completeness of the bliss. Well done.
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You set the scene quite nicely in this one. I am impressed to the point that I have no critique, only admiration.
Well done!
Lines like "stubble burns soft flesh" and "satin lips spoil skin;" just leap out at me.
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Very good Senryu's!
These are about people, emotions and wonderful love feelings -- not about nature, seasons or birds! So I seriously doubt they could be classed as Haiku -- however, they are very well done, inspiring and just ring or "sing" to my ears. Great work -- I love these poems!
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Yes--I like very much--sounds like a good morning encounter--they are the best way to start the day.
Well written--enjoyable read.
bw
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wow
I really love the sensuallity of this one.
And it puts a lot of realy fantastic images in your head.
I LOVE the line 'explosion as one'. Such a cool idea.
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Very nice Angie, well done. Bunnies for you too.
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Good!
I liked it, even though its a smex poem hehe. It's simple but still has a nice flow and whatnot.
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these have a nice build-up...
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wow
I LOVED THIS!
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Oh i so struggle to write these, you have done very well, I always stumble over the syllable thing and the emotion in them.
C
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well I must say this was a lovely sensual haiku chain, deep imagery that leaves the heart in a sigh.
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