Look up ye not on a moonless night,
where the wind cries out its soulless song,
where black clouds cast their shadows deep;
never stray where ye don't belong.
Look up ye not on a moonless night;
there are things abroad in that restless dark
with horror writhing in their veins
and eyes that glow with evil's spark.
Look up ye not on a moonless night.
Pull up your collar and bow your head!
Make haste straightway to safety's door,
or risk the fate all sane men dread.
Look up ye not on a moonless night.
Carry a torch and stoke its flames!
Never give voice to things we fear...
for ye must not ever speak their names.
Look up ye not on a moonless night,
where the wind cries out its soulless song,
where black clouds cast their shadows deep;
never ye stray where ye don't belong!
Author notes
Quote prompt: "We are in Transylvania, and Transylvania is not England. Our ways are not your ways, and there shall be to you many strange things." Bram Stoker
Photo: Bran Castle (view from south) near Braşov in Transylvania.
A contest entry
- Apparitions by Tercil.
450 points, ended September 6, 2008, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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UNITED BANDITS
Great wrrite and congratulations on silver.
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BANDITS UNITED!!!
If I had been the judge, you would've won Gold. Really enjoyed the read, specially like the repeated first line and first stanza. Great job.
~Titia~
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Bandits United!!!
Good take on the prompt. great rhythm and rhyme. wonderful imagery. thank you for sharing your talent. keep writing! God bless you always
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BANDITS UNITED: This is your day in the spotlight - enjoy. KInd of fits in with the seasons of Halloween. Liked the picture and the poem; good flow, rhythm and rhyme in these lines. Nice silver trophy to add to your collection as well. Congratulations.
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BANDITS UNITED,
I didn't know you did thisand I so enjoyed the read, I will have to come take a look (when you are not watching )visually it misses nothing "carry a torch and stoke its flames" and has great timing and flow,
loved the last line.
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Bandits United!
Wonderful work! and a great story. This is well crafted, and I love the pic. Congrats on the silver, well deserved!
Love & Light
Debbera
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BANDITS UNITED
Look up ye not on a moonless night,
where the wind cries out its soulless song,
where black clouds cast their shadows deep;
never ye stray where ye don't belong!
Oh, a poem that is so beautiful and so timely during this season. An excellent poem by your talented pen!
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Bandits United!
Oops, forgot to give the proper verdict! Sorry! -
Great Poem!
Super work! This is just a superb poem with meaning, message and excellent form!@ I like the wording and flow -- it reads so smoothly! This surely is a Transylvania poem of horror!
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Bandits United
Absolutely fabulous story. I love your ballad and that castle picture is awesome. I also read "Dracula" and found the quote to be very true. Congrats on your silver trophy. -
Bandits United!
I liked the repetition and the rhyming that tied the whole thing together. I thought that you did a wonderful job with the prompted and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem. Cheers
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Bandits United!
"where the wind cries out its soulless song"
What a striking image! Great rhythm, rhyme, flow and images in this write. I read this also as a metaphor for the "inner horrors" many carry deep inside, where to venture means to relive those horrors. Yet, to heal means to "look up on a moonless night".
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Bandits United!
Good take on the prompt! 
Love the flow, tempo & rhyme. I like the repetition of the first line in each stanza, it sets the mood for the poem! Has the feel of a horror movie & your words are well chosen & bring the vision to life. Sure gives one the atmosphere of Transylvania! 
Glad you won a trophy.
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BANDITS UNITED !
You have set the mood and tone creating a thoroughly enjoyable Macabre poem, which I find so fitting on this day before Halloween. The well chosen words you employ enchance the character of this well executed write. Well Done, I'm going to Bookmark this gem! Congrats on the Silver Trophy!
You have been Spotlighted by your Poetic Bandit Family because WE CARE!
Dennis
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BANDITS UNITED WOW
This is a magnificent poem, reminiscent of the poetry of old poets, which I find thrilling. 
This poem has just the right touch of scary, mixed with beauty. 
I love it!
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Bandits United!
Curiosity killed the cat so to speak, it is human nature wander where we don't belong or are not wanted. Your write is so spooky I so enjoyed reading. Thanks for sharing enjoy your day in the spotlight. hugs Theresa
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Gold to me. I love this work. We often wander where we are in danger, not wanted, not welcome. Human nature I guess.
"Look up ye not on a moonless night.
Pull up your collar and bow your head!
Make haste straightway to safety's door,
or risk the fate all sane men dread."
Love this set of lines...spooky and eerie. Makes me think of American Werewolf. . . shiver....
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Bandits United!!!!!!
Wow, and again WOW. I love this piece. The repitition of the first line in every stanza is breathtaking. The rhyme is wonderful. i love all of this piece, and the picture is great too. congrats on the silver.
Always write from the heart
Never give up
Kate
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Bandits United!
Look up ye not on a moonless night.
Pull up your collar and bow your head!
Make haste straightway to safety's door,
or risk the fate all sane men dread.
I also like it when you tell stories.
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Bandits United!
I love your eerie tales - you pull off the rhyme and atmosphere so very well, without ever compromising anything the added repitition at the end is chilling ... almost like the time has come to batten down the hatches as it were 
fabulous, and well deserving of the trophy!
Keep writing
Polly
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BANDITS UNITED
This is interesting and creepy but a great poem congratulations on your Trophy win for this have a great day be well
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The chants in this make folklore what it is. From which their beliefs and superstitions still reign supreme. I am all for 'ye', in verse, but am staggering whether in repetition it would not have been better to use, 'there', or 'where'. There for the positive realities folklore has impressed, or where, which gives folklore its eerie thoughts. But that is minor, not gross critique, ok? But yes, I liked this very much.
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Interesting!
A likable horror voice that speaks of some immenent disaster to the hero/heroine. I like a good dark.
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WoW!!!
Suh-WEET!!! Very different from your favored "voice". When the muse returns it returns in style! The use of "ye" coupled with subtle inversions (cast their shadows deep) really gives this an authentic period-piece feel to it. Nicely done.
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