Snow covered summits stately rise
to touch the walls of emerald skies,
but snow has picked its time to speak
and rumbles bounce from cloistered peaks.
The wasting cotton candy fields
crackle and creak as winter yields,
ominous grumbles through its core
emit a deep and powerful roar.
Slowly shifting from frail ledges
cavalcades beyond the edges,
tumbling down the valleys length
the great white killer gathers strength.
Down slipping slopes the torrent tumbles
heaving drifts of packed ice crumbles
plumes of snow and spindrift blows
above the avalanching snows.
Cascading cadence swiftly slides
engulfing earth in perished tides,
a symphony plays out its medley
sublimely beautiful but deadly.
A contest entry
- Tour De Monde - Stage 5 by Errant Panther.
300 points, ended September 12, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by leander.
730 points, ended November 30, 2008, 147 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I really like the alliteration you have used throughout the poem. That's one of my favorite poetic devices and not many have mastered them as skillfully as you have here.
The rhyme is also very well done. Although I'm not a rhymer myself, I really appreciate the fact that you stayed out of the 'pedestrian rhyme' section.
Thank you for entering the contest - moving this to preliminary.
Leander -
White Death
You have delivered the true beauty within all of this with great words of imagery,
and you have also delivered in a soft way a great reminder of just how deadly this beauty can be. -
This is lovely....So beautiful and flows flawlessly...Explores both the beauty and danger ...
Best wishes
Lynda
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I really love the imagery of this poem and the scene that it creates is wonderful
I think that the last line is a little off with the rhythm, maybe another syllable in there would make it flow better (but that could just be me) - other than that this is a fantastic poem and I really enjoyed the read - I wish you the best in the contest!
Keep writing
Polly
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your rhyme and flow are amazing..as is your imagery..and your ending..is WOW..
Cascading cadence swiftly slides
engulfing earth in perished tides,
a symphony plays out its medley
sublimely beautiful but deadly.
so very unique and descriptive..to shout nature's wonders..deadly but so very beautiful..thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest..blessings..namaste..
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you know you are making me wanna go there with you images you have painted in my mind. keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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WONDERFUL THE BUILDING UP AND THEN CRASHIBG OF THIS PIECE IS REALLY GOOD, I LOVE THE ENDDING IT IS BEAUTIFUL YET EXTREAMLY DEADLY AT THE SAME TIME, I THINK THE RHYMES ARE FLAWLESS AND THE TITLE IS JUST FANTASTIC A GREAT PIECE OF WRITING MY FRIEND, BEST OF LUCK IN THE CONTEST I THINK THIS IS A WINNER
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Nice ... gives u the chills .....
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