Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

here

and we'll sleep here
where rain has quench the thirst.

here, where summer
touched our skins.

here, where my roots
settled in your bed


we'll sleep


here, where the early winter
filters softly, stays
and freezes the eyelashes
erasing butterfly kisses
you once shared

here, where love threatens
to leave

 

close the door.

Author notes

very rusty, still working on it

inspired by a contest, not an entry though... http://allpoetry.com/contest/2418237

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • OurxBeginning
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    So deep, I loved the imagery in this. So soft, and the ending is a real shocker. Very well done. Keep it up. :]


  • untitled.
    April 18

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, my dear Leslie... still wooing us, hm? Yes, I've been in the shadows for a long time, I apologize for lack of communication. But I'm glad to see you are still writing, amiga querida. And with the same relentless beauty as I remember... I love the melancholy, the soft sighs of love... You do it so well. Hope to hear from you soon, cheri. I'll pass by a little more often. . Ciao, linda.

    Your friend and fan,

    ~Stephy.


  • quietly burning
    January 31
    Edit | Reply
    this is a beautiful piece ... why not treat us more often


    • Leslie gold member
      February 10
      Edit | Reply
      thanks friend you comments are always well receive !!!

      Leslie

  • dx d by me
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So gently working its way into a specacular poem, I've read several times, better each time. Hmmm, I hope you write more of these, if this is any indication, stay rusty! Beautful. Geo


  • Rhythm Child
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was a beautiful poem that told a beautiful story and it was worded beautifully, i know my vocab has become rather limited but this is the word to describe it
    great poem


  • lilAj
    August 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "here, where the early winter
    filters softly, stays
    and freezes the eyelashes
    erasing butterfly kisses
    you once shared"

    a strong middle, my favourite lines
    I had seen Nicolette's contest and was trying to think of a suitable start
    I really liked what you did with the prompt here
    oh should 'quench' be 'quenched' in line 2?


  • Nicolette gold member
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, close that door so that winter can't enter and love can't leave... it's still winter here and still cold... and I could feel and see this poem. It's lovely Lesley... why didn't you post it in my contest??? I missed reading your poetry - you should write more, definately. I wish you warmth...

    ~ Nicolette

    • Leslie gold member
      August 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      to be honest, because even though I saw your contest and that is how this started I just felt that your contest could use more specific poetry... but I thought you might relate to it, even though here is still summer you can't let it cool down in the winter but to be a live flame... I hope you are doing good friend.



  • Peteskid gold member
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like this, has a bit of a journey to it over time, as seasons, the motions ..a fall, a rise and fulfilling theme... and the door...very nice...PK


  • Solidified
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like it so far. It has a very soft and loving touch, but almost a bit of a sad undertone. The kind of sadness that comes out in a sigh. Lovely write.

1 - 11 of 11