How Do You Get That Lonely

Curled up in the corner crying again
The blade tucked tightly in my hand.
It hurts to bad to move, to think, to feel,
But it's an inner pain that's hard to understand.

There's just no hope left,
No faith in anything I do.
Empty, broken, lost, dead,
No one can save me now, not even you.

I silently screamed for help,
But no one heard my cries.
Now I'm left here on the bathroom floor,
Watching the blood pull out all the lies.

Fake that smile, fake that laugh,
Turn and tell everyone I'm ok.
But they don't know what I do at night,
The scars I leave behind each and every day.

I scream out in anger and fear
As even the pain begins to numb.
Too afraid to lose all feeling,
But it seems the darkness has won.

Eyes as empty as a hollow shell,
Brain as mindless as a ghost.
Lost a reason to keep waking up forever ago,
But it's still those words that haunt me the most.

"It's selfish to kill yourself,
Because you aren't thinking of everyone else!"
But what comfort is it to those people,
Knowing how much I hate myself?

If all I do is attack and lunge,
Hurt them and cause them so much pain,
Then what's the use in staying around,
Only to kill the sun and bring more rain?

They say you get up again,
After you fall.
But I never got up, and wasted away
Until there was nothing left at all.

So as I lay in this pool of blood,
For a moment I'm almost happy.
And as the pain rushes back, one last thought comes to mind:
How do you get this lonely?