~You say you will have me never again,
~you say that i am the cure for your disease
and now you are all too clear in your intent.
But you are wrong my love, for i am the disease
not the cure..and it is I that has gotten you
A contest entry
- There's a First for Everything... by Lamia.
800 points, ended April 13, 36 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PW Contest - 10 LINES or LESS by The Fun House.
600 points, ended August 25, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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my evil side laughed manically at this.
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You are a wildcat I bet. I love your attitude and your style. In your face and awesome in every word. His intentions are never pure until he's throwin shit in your face so he can leave with a clean conscience...hmm...sounds all too familiar. I think that you got it all in the palm of your hand...emulating you dear...great job again.
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what is this?a prefiguration of madness?just kidding,Baudelaire would have loved you my dear heart
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Powerful piece here with a hint of subtle evil thrown in. I like this a lot and can see why this won a trophy. Well done.
Yours in Darkness
Wayne Leon
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Kinda like Slipknot
If you haven't already, try reading the lyric to "The Virus of Life" on Slipknot's "Subliminal Verses" album. This bears a striking resemblance. -
Short, but powerful in words.
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Adore this much.....powerful and sweet....
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this is powerful! I love it very much! It's very good
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loooove iiit!
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i feel this way right now with a friend of mine. hes suicidal and he loves me. as much as i try to help i fear that i only make it worse. theres so much conflict. this poem touches me. i like it. im glad you won that trophey.
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Impressive, such elegant rage...
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well i d like you all over me like a rash of the measels lol nice write gutsy love it
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wow!!!!!!!! damn lol i dig it
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this is a beautiful piece. very direct and very to the point.
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Great poem and it is very strong write! I like how the last lines are the curve ball to the poem for someone who would think that they're the cure are actually the one causing the disease. Very powerful in little lines.
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wow. im surprised. i didnt no that a few sentences can change somebodys perspective or outlook. its a very strong meaning. and i think i understand it. you can really engage w ur writing which is a good aspect any poet should have! dont put the pen down1
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Bravo!
Excellent read - congrats on your bronze. well deserved
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i good poem - ah to breathe, have love in smiles, where the cure is passionate moments... and we are all trapped in the seconds, wasting away our time. i need a pill.
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oooh so dark and edgy, i can feel the power in every word--loved it!
rachael
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talk about a one two punch. it sounds like lyrics that i've heard before but im probably wrong on that. as a guitarist i can see a lot of cool ideas that would work with this piece. you should really try to work this into a full fledged song. who knows, you might make millions on it.
Rob
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Ooh...how delightfully wicked haha. I like it. I really can't say much more than that....I just love these little poems that surprise you in the end. They're great fun. Good luck and thank you for entering my contest
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you spin me right round baby right round...
i love the way this goes full circle. i also love how the protagonist is both the disease and the perceived cure... loooovely write!
right on!
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Twisted, evil little darling. LOL, loved it, hun.
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evil much? lol. I get the sneaking feeling that these things you write belong in the non-fiction section. you are a succubus for sure.
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:( "I am the disease"
I loved it. It's clear, it's heart breaking.
SO I take it this was a sober write?
Still thought it was brilliant.
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Like that you turn the table on the unsuspecting...devious, or down right devestating of you...Great write.
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I agree
That is how I feel about someone
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I love this and it is EXACTLY how i feel.
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I love the title to your piece! alot...it makes my mind wander really deep into the meaning of the poem. it makes me think that even though it is you that has gotten him...
the disease has not killed him, he still breaths...which could mean lots of things. I like it alot! great job. write more i like your poetry!!
)) and thanks for the comment
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