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Invisible tracks

Anger bubbles forth
and venom
pours off your tongue.
Hatred
in each blow
as your fist
meets my face - again.
Shook until
my head hurts.
Kicked until
I bruise and break.
Lies upon lies
you spin.
My tears fall on
invisible tracks.



A contest entry

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  • Desire gold member
    August 30, 2008

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    Thank You!!

    Thank You for Your entry: Invisable Tracks
    This piece tugged hard at Spirit and while I was reading which I do several times~ Images come to me in many forms~ while taking in Your words: ...and venom pours off your tongue. - it is difficult for some adults to take verbal abuse from another adult and so one can only imagine the harsh words coming from a grown up to a child; the adult who is *supposed* to protect- the child looks up to on many levels -now strained- and it is disheartening to envision a child hearing these searing words of Hate They don't just disappear but for some reason remain in the back of the mind well into adulthood Then to add the physical contact with emphasis- devastating to imagine~ I noticed the title- Invisable- for some reason my dictionary is showing: Invisible- along with the last line - After reading again, I kept getting how children are used as punching bags and relive the trauma in Dreams when they should be dreaming pleasant thoughts- sugar plum fairies etc- not fists of fury and death- boogeyman that looks like daddy etc- However this to be interpreted
    Whether metaphor or symbolism
    Hopefully the above comment makes some sense~
    Excellent take on the prompt ~
    Powerful images & message You have brought forth

    Thank You for sharing Your Voice and Spirit!
    Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    **Judging will be done shortly...
    Many blessings too
    and much love & light~ Desire~*~


    • Shadows Mistress
      August 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your words and for your opinion on this. I'm glad that you liked it. I'm sorry I did not realise my spelling mistake until you mentioned it. I have altered it now, but I understand that it will not make any diference to the competition even though I have altered it. Thank you once and again and all the best with the judging. :0)