My eyes were bones;
broken, and penetrating through
my lashes-
and you were a street-starved dog
looking for something to survive off...
the pressure against my gums
was staining my teeth black
I tried to scream-
but you only heard the echo
of a pen scratching paper-
I swear;
one day they will say your name
and I
won't feel a thing
Author notes
http://santina.deviantart.com/art/scream-34754269
we are broken... and so are my words
A contest entry
- Reserve quickly! by She Stole My Voice.
300 points, ended September 4, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Amazing use of imagery. I loved this poem :] It held so much beauty to it. I also liked your structure of metaphors in the first few lines. You right such inspiring poems. Keep it up, this was brillianttt ! ♥
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"broken, and penetrating through
my lashes-"
i love that.
Honestly,
I think this is the best piece you've ever written.
Thank you for entering baby ♥
-Mary -
amazing.
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thank you thank you thank you!
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i truley thought the first stanza was amazing.
and the last line.. i could so relate to.
keep it up hun, you are def getting your sparkle back
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thanks lovelie. i hope so.
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Really beautiful and creative.
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thank you lots <3
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i dont see how it went with the pic
not untill i got to
but you only heard the echo
of a pen scratching paper-
but then again im not you...
i think my fav part was the second stanza and
although i love the ending
the words feel
idk..?
am i just crazy?
but it is amazing
and i like this very much
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ps; i wanted to write more about what the pic envoked me
how it made me feel, and less of what i saw -
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yeah i get that
its just hard to relate cuz i dont know how you feel...
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thank you thank you thank you<3
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http://santina.deviantart.com/art/scream-34754269
Here you go :]
Tell me when you finish, so I can come back and comment :]
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