the effect,
your pull on me
akin to the moon
pulling in the tide
- automatic submission
somehow I gave you
that gravity
back
forth
back
forth
back
and
forth
on the beach
of us
sand storm
sour sounds
penetrate me
disturbingly warm
like a sauna in the
middle of a February
day
burning from the
epicenter
of my existence
as if
a flood of
hot chocolate
is scorching through
my insides
marking me
in places future lovers
wont see; but oh how they
will know when our eyes meet
love;
there are times
when milk spoils
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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well lady, this is quite a neat write. i really enjoyed readin it.
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whoa! This got excited just reading it.. and it was very well written.
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you know.
I love hot chocolate
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Well, that must have been fun and painful. LOL
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I really feel the emotions in this one. I can understand how love can be so bittersweet. I used to be in a relationship that was like that in a kind of "hurts so good" way. Always ended up leaving me miserable in the end but god, while it lasted it felt fantastic. It was like a drug, and when the drug wore off, everything ached.
Anyway, to me this poem could well have been talking about that relationship.
Very relateable and as usual wonderful imagery!
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Yep, been here. I love it, really. I think this one is my favorite.
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WOW!!!
I am impressed with this gold standard, it's the best poem I've seen in ages. Great work. You have set the mark higher, girrrrl. Take care, and throw the spoiled milk out with the bath water. Peace, Cyn 
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Simply wonderful
As always, your imagery is painfully poignant, I love the image of chocolate burning, and the line “marking me…” is truly wonderful. Great write Angie, WTG.
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A terrific write with great metaphores, great flow and strong language. Very Good.
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I do like this one, just wonder if the hot chocolate metaphor is a little soft for the rest of the write, for it sounds like the story is painful or bitter and hot chocolate makes me think sweet? It's my only question on this, loved the rest C
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Thanks for reading
I definitely wanted the sweet factor- apparently this poem comes off as sensual and love making to some people- but it's really about the bitter-sweetness of love-
love scorned-
and since love can be so sweet and hurt so bad I pulled hot chocolate out of my experiences of physical things which are so sweet but can hurt so bad- yummy! -
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Oh ok, well in that case yes hot chocolate is definitely the sweetest
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I love how you use your words here. the last two lines are great. Excellent write! keep up the great work.
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OH GAWD!
You are unreal! wow, you are sooooooooooooo good! damn, this was uhmm hot, and uhmm hotter!
p.s. to keep the hot thoughts, i'm ignoring the last two lines! l.o.l.
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hahaha
OMG I didn't mean it like that with the back and forth business hahahaha
But okay.
lmao
your comment is making me laugh so it was worth it for my poem to be played off as a sexual innuendo.
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