Sat outside Tesco's, sweltering from the outside-in,
on this August day she was a caesarian-section,
birthed from an incision that cut across her right to be treated humanely, dressed in the layers of her worldly goods and tied, with a traditional bow, in knotted string,
wearing a face that had looked in the wrong direction and found the wind had changed too quickly, so, she was slapped
with that expression, to the tut tut's of those that had nothing better to express their breath with, I sat beside her on the wooden bench with the memorial plaque dedicated by " Frank to his loving Rose, gone but not forgotten"
and I offered to buy her a beverage of her choice, she narrowed her eyes 'til they were letterbox shaped slits,
told me if I was a do-gooder then I could go to hell!
I replied my passage was already guaranteed and thanked her for her temerity, we chatted awhile, without any naked ambition on either side, shared the sunshine and the two orange juices and we were both naked, undressed by any need
to impress the other. She was simply a flower unable to flourish without fertile soil but for me she was in full bloom.
A contest entry
- your naked beauty... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended September 6, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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chop a box of prophets into zany corner pieces and see who slithers out of a circle first. nothing a common do-gooder wouldn't attempt if it was spring in a woodcrafter's garden. you put this one right when I went heading left...a good gold - shines with a smile.
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Well deserved award, this left me in awe again of your talent,wonderful precise picture drawn.
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Wonderful
Such masterful prosetry - I have to say it's a prose poem but I know categories are unimportant. You grounded me in textures, then led me to the garden. Thank you.
Congrats on the well-deserved trophy.
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Great Write!! Congratulations for winning the GOLD!!!!! You take care. Sandy
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Humm..seems that reading some eternal work of the hearts....I love it..well done..and my thanks for sharing it...
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Loved it, sweets. Very vivid picture you painted. I think all of us has seen this once or twice in our lives.
Write on, sis.
Dez
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i really like the way you set up the story with the strings and textures of wrappings ('dressed in layers', etc) and come full circle to naked beauty, a flower in all its sublime vulnerability. -fishy
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cool---great rhythm & story with some neat poetry inside.
You've described her perfectly without being heavy-handed, I can picture the scene, and I'm not left with any residue of your (the writer's) judgement
well done, Sister!
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you had me hooked all the way with this damned bloody good prose Yvette... simply told with realistic metaphors and imagery... loved it....
seems so close to all of us, this story!! - damn
well done
Gilly.xxxx
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i love it. you are so thoughtful of others.
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BEAUTIFUL!!!!! That is all that needs to be said . . . just beautiful . . . I am moved . . .
Marc
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Thousands of dollars' tens o' thousands' to restore damaged works of art...countless lost masterpieces wander our streets and hardly anyone sees there proper value.
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Exceptional. This is you at your best my friend. You have such heart and empathy for the vulnerable. Bravo!
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