young stan said to the man
who was selling meat at the butchers shop
give us some ham its for me mam
an she said to cut all the 'fat' off.
'fat' yelled the butcher is she mad that you will never find
no finer meat's will you ever eat in this entire land.
now go tell your 'mother' i'll have no bother
about fat being on my meat'
and don't come back untill you've got a letter of apology.
so off he went to his 'mam' to tell her the whole story
'oh' what she would say he did not know
though he hoped she would let it be.
a letter yelled his mam
is he mad all because i asked for no fat
'now' go tell that 'man' if he wants a letter
he will have to eat his hat.
so of he went to tell the man
what his mother had told him to say
he could see now this was going to be
a very tiring day.
'my hat' yelled the butcher' is she mad
that i will never do
now go tell your 'mam' she'll not get her ham
tho i have some nice beef for a stew.
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 9 Feelings - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended September 7, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #134 Make us laugh by daviscth.
300 points, ended September 6, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Was Attacked By A Blue Gilled Panther Mongoose Snake!! by bananasfoster42.
450 points, ended September 20, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Need Comments? by Shya.
300 points, ended October 11, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming Pre-Write Extravaganza 2 by piccola.
600 points, ended September 29, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Limericks! by marmac.
400 points, ended November 9, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Limerick me! (#1) by BearWoman.
700 points, ended March 20, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Fun, but it's not a limerick!
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This is too cute!! I loved the speech, they way they talked, you could see this all happening, so the result was wonderful! There was a typo on line 17 of should be off, and on line 24, tho- though, other than that, its great!
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You'll have to edit this if you want it to qualify for the limerick contest.
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lol. This was really cute. I did see some typos though and it really should be edited when you enter it in a contest. If this were a normal comment I would tell you what they are but since this is for judging you're on your own
thank you for entering.
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Brilliant Scouse Poem!
Aww this makes me homesick for Scouse City, so well penned in true Scouse lingo and humour, and so refreshingly down-to-earth and minus all the usual flowery stuff, great take on life as seen through a Scousers eyes and from a Scouse viewpoint, its a poetic sketch on Scouse life.
Love it, bravo, well done, write on! Lovely story too.
Poetic Scouse Hugs,
Kaz.
Kazytc xx
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Hah. It's cute. It think it would be easier to read, though, if you quoted everything that they say as if you were writing a story. What you have right now is sporadic. Overall, very nice
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very random!
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Thank you for your entry in the contest.An interesting and highly amusing write and as both the judges are English, we have no problems with the language.
Good luck in the contest
Sue and Jeff
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Unexpected, strange but comical with a good voice. Enjoyable definately- and very different to mine, which is nice. Reminds me a little of the old folk limericks
Gemma x
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This was a fun poem to read. I really enjoyed the imagery. Thanks for your entry into my contest.
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Nice story..that's a very creative mind you got.
I like them type of story it reminds me of when i was kid back in Africa listening to the tells of my grandfather back in the village.
its all coming back.
thanks for sharing.
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Yea quite crazy >.< but fun to read as well.
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Hmm well this is by far one of the weirdest poems iv read but i love it lol. Great write keep it up ~ Brooklynn
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thank you brooklyn i wrote this originally for my kids, it's a bit of a tounge twister i think and 'mam' means the same as 'mom' where i'm from lol.
thank you for all your comments they are very sweet,
i'm really pleased you like my work.. xx
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