Stunningly naked
you enter a breathless dark
stopping my heart
for one beat, now two,
finally resuming with
a ringing in my ears
from lightheadedness.
Pausing posed mid-room
velvet lily white a ghostly glowing
angel flowing in moonlight
made up of flower petal curves
and slowly sloping lines
never touched but tenderly
your ivory marble skin
carved into my heart –
smoothly round and
pressing against my soul.
Your falling hair
liquid mahogany –
eyes turquoise stars
I travel the map of your skin,
pausing along the way,
due south into that dark valley
shadowing the future
where flow rivers
of lives to be.
A contest entry
- your naked beauty... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended September 6, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Yes. This is fabulous. She is beautiful and you are stunned and that's a wonderful time in a relationship. Even though it's filled with insecurity and trepidation, the mere thrill of seeing her, and her you. . .wow, very lovely.
"Love paints not with the eyes, but with the mind."
who said that? Beautiful,
jin
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Garrison!! My goodness, friend, you are so amazing! This is absolute perfection!
You have mastered beggining your poems with that power that knocks us from our feet...
"Stunningly naked
you enter a breathless dark
stopping my heart
for one beat, now two,"
the language you use flows like the light from your soul...
"a ghostly glowing
angel flowing in moonlight
made up of flower petal curves"
and the art you paint in our minds backlights the beauty of your words...
"your ivory marble skin
carved into my heart –
smoothly round and
pressing against my soul."
You end on a stunning, powerful stanza which carries infinite meaning and depth into our worlds...
"I travel the map of your skin,
pausing along the way,
due south into that dark valley
shadowing the future
where flow rivers
of lives to be."
All I can say is...Bravo! This is exquisite!!!
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Hum..the words are beautiful to touch the beautiful skin of her...well done..and my thanks for sharing it...
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I loved how the use of images/sounds here created a rather astute portrait...After just returning from a rather long week away from here, it's nice to log back in and be able to come to your page and read something of this caliber. I just recently had the pleasure of finding your work and I am very glad I did. That last stanza drapes across the eyelids and becomes, more...There is a grace to this piece and one that should be held above you or as your breath is taken away. Magical stuff.
It was a pleasure.
;
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beautifully done..
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So, tell me, is there some blue-eyed, ivory-skinned, dark-haired beauty you've been fancying?
I'm seeing a bit of a trend here.
I love this one also. Maybe even better than the one I just commented on. In fact, I definitely do.
The descriptions are juicy and delectable. I want to roll the words around on my tongue and let their taste linger...
Yeah... it's inspiring. LOL.
Great job. You should definitely win gold for this one!
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This is good!
made up of flower petal curves
and gently sloping lines
your ivory marble skin
carved into my heart –
smoothly round and
pressing against my soul.
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