A Fire Inside...

The fire that burns,
Another page has turned,
Leaving the prior darkened and black.
The black flames reach my soul,
Encasing my whole body in a hell of torment and pain.
She left without reason,
Without warning.
Both of us to blame,
Neither of us to fault,
It's another memory to lock inside the vault.
As I lock it away,
Others promise it won't be good,
When I open it to visit,
It will take ahold of me.
That was over a year ago,
It's time to seize the pain.
I set the music,
And the first strains flow over my soul.
Hey there Delilah,
What's it like in New York City?
You're a thousand miles away,
But girl, tonight you look so pretty,
Yes you do...
I grimace with the memories,
Her soft eyes having been burned into mine.
Her long flowing hair,
Set on fire by the sunsets.
A tear approaches my eye,
And begins to flow down my cheek.
I quickly wipe it away,
No need to bring the emotions out.
I hastily dial the combination,
Anxious and afraid of what is to come.
I slowly open the door,
A sense of dread and foreboding entering every fiber of my being.
Here goes nothing...
The demon is sitting in the shadows,
I find some old childhood memories.
I stop to enjoy them,
Wishing I didn't have to see what's coming.
She's sitting in the shadows,
Watching me.
I know exactly where it is,
But I am taking my time getting there.
I see my mother's face,
Broken and bleeding from when I was 6.
My father's pure rage,
Ravaging this poor little boy's body.
I start to weep uncontrollably.
I'm getting closer,
And every step that I take,
I know is another mistake.
Why have I come?
Why am I here?
But I know why.
I stand face to face with this,
The worst of my demons.
She sits so calm,
So innocent.
Exactly as I remember.
Then I black out.

I awaken later,
Fresh blurred memories of what I've done.
I don't understand what this all means.
What did I do?
The haze is there,
The earth seems to have been a battlefield...
I claw at my head, racking into my memories.
Why is it so dark?
What have I done?
Finally, it hits me.
I simply sit down on charred ground from the sheer horror of it all.
I opened the cage,
Embraced her again.
Only to find,
She was naught more than a shadow,
A demon that was in my soul.
I had shielded it,
The pain had festered.
Until it was too late to try to let go.
I had burned and massacred the world,
Trying to ease the pain.
I tore apart lives,
Ripped hearts into shreds.
I knew it would strike again,
Until I found her,
And convinced her to help me.
I feel it begin to bubble under my skin,
Everywhere that she has touched me.
With her soft ebbs and flows,
The darkness washes over me again.
I welcome it, this escape from myself.
I tear through another region,
Leaving absolutely nothing in my wake.
I find myself drawing ever closer to her.
A strange melody,
A tune, my preceding warning.
Delilah, I can promise you,
That by the time we get through,
The world will never ever be the same,
And you're to blame...
I live life for years, in this way.
A song here and there,
One that always sets me off.
I'm becoming the catalyst,
Letting the fire consume me.
Letting the courage flow through me.
I'm pounding the walls, shaking the cage.
I'm a prisoner of my love,
Until the day I find her.
It's a dark stormy night,
The rain as warm as blood.
I am in the middle of my rampage for the evening,
She steps out once again from the shadows.
Her bittersweet voice calls to me,
And immediately,
I am free from the monster.
I ask her to look into my eyes,
Describe what she sees.
To decide whether or not she will be the death of me.
It has been a long hard path,
But the culmination reaches this point.
She almost has no emotion as she says she loves another.
Rather than rage now,
I am filled with pure sadness.
I begin to weep tears of blood,
Mingling with the rain, they run down my face.
Standing over him,
He begged me not to do what I knew I had to do.
I give in to my powers,
Allowing myself to be completely consumed.
In this farewell,
There's no blood,
There's no alibi.
I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lives.
I enbrace what I've become,
And my addiction becomes my being.
I release her,
So she may see what I've done.
I burn the world down.
No longer an addict or a prisoner.
This is who I am,
What she will come to know and fear.
The fire inside is never quenched,
Just hungers for more.
And so I feed it.
None will stop me, for I am complete and invincible.
Only the future will hold my fate.