I hear children play, I see roses bloom,
the air smells so fresh and the sky is blue.
Somewhere a man sits alone in his room
and no one knows the pain he’s gone through.
A soldier somewhere feels locked in a tomb
and longs to come home, a place that he knew.
Wherever there’s light you’ll also find dark;
life is not simply a walk in the park.
A beautiful woman walks down the aisle,
the world is perfect in her father’s eyes.
Alone in a prison, a man in exile,
with no one around to hear desperate cries;
his skin color soon becomes his profile
and covers his sins with transparent lies.
Where there’s a top there’s always a bottom
when things pass away and others blossom.
Some eat in fine restaurants smoking cigars,
dressed in their silks and the finest of gowns.
Children are hungry and live in junk cars,
they stay out of mind in faraway towns.
And some purchase love in rented boudoirs
they think it’s the cure for permanent frowns.
Life can be cruel yet good to another,
deep down inside we’re sister and brother.
Author notes
Prompt Quote:
"Life is unfair. I got nothing but the best."
Jean Marais
In a list
A contest entry
- Poetic Form: Ottava Rima - Prompt - Quotes (pick a quote and be inpsired from it) by Little Eagle.
600 points, ended September 14, 2008, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments:
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Thank you for your entry
Yes, you cannot have the good without the bad, how can we learn to appreciate the good in our lives if we never experience the bad. It is the way the world was made.
The form was well done, I see you smudged some of the lines on syllable count. I assume that was intentional as I believe I remember you mentioning that you do that on occassion. The rhyme scheme was followed well. Nice flow and structure.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
The form is perfect in these three octaves, but that is what one would expect from your poems. I thought the second octave was by far the strongest, introducing a more complex imagery in "his skin color soon becomes his profile and covers his sins with transparent lies." Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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Excellent~
Oh My this is a Gem~ Love the message You have brought through in this formed treasure~
You took the prompt and delivered
Touches deep in the Heart
Keep that quill dancing Beautiful~
These lines so grab~
Wherever there’s light you’ll also find dark;
life is not simply a walk in the park.
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love & light~ Desire~*~
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Such truth in this hun.. we are sister and brother no matter what! It does make me sad how life can be so unfair to some
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I so very much love this portic philosophic answer to Cain's eternal question. This is a beautiful and moving poem, I love the pace and comparisons add wonderful imagery.
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Sis,
What a great read this one is! I love the contrast in this one! and the rhyme..... is just amazing!!
Best of luck in this contest!
and love
Nyetta
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A wonderful study in balance. There is good there is bad. What is wonderful is that there is!! You have captured this here in your typical perfect format. Should do fantastic in the contest.
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Wonderful message! Light, dark, joy, sorrow...life is full of contrast.Pam
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Very well constructed ottava rima and excellent content, nice to know what I must aim for.
Great stuff
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