stoned
by the slowly falling
bricks of mind,
i walk away from dreams
and open my eyelids:
what galaxy shall i
imitate today,
i ask the crisp folds
of my sheets
but as i fumble
with my lighter
i discover
i am all alone
and even bed-creases
are part of a dream
A contest entry
- Critiques by Melissa Gayle.
1650 points, ended September 4, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Eh, this one is so so for me, I have seen much stronger pieces than this from you - so I admit I was definitely waiting for more.
Still you have some stand out imagery. -
second stanza=strongest.
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