On the top shelf,
way out of reach,
behind two heavy boxes
of worn out and tattered shoes.
Right beside a bag of clothes,
too small to ever wear again
and an old baby doll I used to play
with when I was just a child,
I found the box...
It was heavy as I reached for it,
heavier than I remember,
covered in layers of dust,
dust from the past.
A past long since dead and buried,
forgotten days,
forgotten moments,
disregarded like old furniture
that had been used for far too long
and no longer carried any value.
A past that never existed,
never meant anything to anyone,
but me.
Pulling the box from the shelf,
I felt the weight of history
and the power of memories
bridging a gap between
past and present.
A past where footsteps had long faded,
whirling in a hypnotic motion,
warning me of the lessons,
harsh lessons forced upon me,
painfully and laboriously endured,
memories belonging to another lifetime.
I sat positioning the box in front of me,
thief-like I stole glances of my surroundings,
feeling terror-haunted by ghosts of that misty past,
that had been laid to rest within the box.
I opened the box and there everything was,
the skeletons of yesterday that had been viciously killed.
Now alive again right in front of my eyes.
Why did I open the box and read the letters,
where the broken promises had left their stains,
and all of the many lies bled from the pages?
So many words capriciously scribbled,
with never an intention of being carried out.
What need did I feed by revisiting
this grave yard?
So much had happened back then,
We shared love and I gave you my heart,
I trusted that you would keep it safe,
instead you chose to close your grip,
slowly squeezing tighter,
until you crushed all the love,
all the life it once contained,
leaving me gasping as you walked over me,
killing any part that you might have forgotten.
Thumbing through all the letters, all the cards,
all the pieces of that broken torn life,
I remembered my voice screaming at you
telling you the devil was going to take your soul,
you were worthless and insignificant.
Threatening you with doom,
cursing as I told you karma would visit you,
when you least expected it,
fate was gonna smack that smile right off your face.
I remember all the ugliness,
the hatred and the heartbreak.
Tears blurred my eyes as they streamed
down my cheeks dropping on to the newspaper
that had been opened to the section
that had printed, in black and white
the obituary of you.
I have read it a thousand times over and over,
each word a jab deeper into my heart.
You died such a a horrible death,
karma had shown you what you had been,
all you had done to so many people,
especially those who loved you.
And I...
I sat numb remembering,
holding the letters and cards you had written,
against my heavy beating heart,
regreting never speaking to you again
after we seperated,
regreting our last exchange of words,
regreating never telling you
what I should have told you.
I wanted to tell you,
thought about telling you everyday,
but couldn't get up the nerve,
to tell you...
I forgive you.
And now you're gone.
Copyright 2008 Shelly Price
(c) Nevadapoet
Honorable mention
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