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Help Me

to you i'm just another face in the crowd
but to them, i'm just an unhappy girl in
her semi-perfect world.

no matter the circumstance my smile cracks
slowly and lands [un]safely in another humans
hands only to be crushed into yet another million
pieces.

wishing and hoping to be loved, remembered, to be
liked. craving to be understood, wanted, to be
needed.

pinch me because i must be dreaming.

Author notes

so lately i feel like poo. i dont wanna feel like poo. but i do feel like poo!
me=


if its a stinker i do apologize

A contest entry

Bite Me...No Seriously...It Feels Awesome

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • written-in-ink
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awww you does not =

    i liked this and i thought it was good

    trust me
    i have had bad times like that too
    and still do now
    ...

    but this was great
    i love the brackets
    very nice

    thank you and good luck


  • firefly53633
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Heavens sakes!

    First of all...this is a very expressive poem!It reflects the inner workings of your mind at this time quite adeptly! Now if you can just lend me an ear for one moment....If you are sick of feeling like poo, quit swimming in the toilet! Sometimes, we all feel like this! But to stay in this mode is silly! In the toilet bowl, there are other poops floating around! Don't hang with them or you'll get flushed! Crawl up on top of one of them, and reach out and grab on to the rim of the toilet bowl and pull yourself out! Then take a shower and start your day over again! This is the toilet bowl story that my daughter once told to me! It's never fun to go sailing with the Tidy Bowl Man!LOL! Hope this brought a smile to your face and motivates you to look outside the bowl! Happiness to you and best regards!


    • edit my world.
      August 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      heh...it did bring a smile to my face...thankies so much. and yes if i keep chillin in toulet bowl i'll end being a giant lump of poo...


  • etoile
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really really liked this!
    especially this part:

    'no matter the circumstance my smile cracks
    slowly and lands [un]safely in another humans
    hands only to be crushed into yet another million
    pieces. '
    ---
    i loved '[un]safely'; the brackets added so much depth to it.
    it wouldve flowed better if you had some punctuation in there, like a comma or something?

    overall this was brilliant! especially the last line

    best of luck in the contest

  • written-in-ink
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awww


    dont feel that way!!!

    i liked this
    i thought it was really good
    and how can what you feel ever make for bad writing...?

    i liked the scond stanza the best!

    good luck and thanks

1 - 5 of 5