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a place to hide.......

each night when i go to bed

so many thoughts swirling in my head

will there be a tomorrow
will the pain go away
i pray to god each and everyday

to watch the one you love
wither away to see them fight
for life in every way

never a complaint
never has a tear fallen from
his eyes
to watch the one you love to
battle cancer
there is never an answer

the pain that i feel
my love that is real
i hold on to each day

there is no other way

yet my heart aches
inside and the pain is palpalable
yet there is so little i can do just stay

by his side

and be there in the way he wants me to

i feel lost
and i cry for the things
that once were

the days of romance
when time stood still
i remember getting dressed
just for you

walking into a room and lighting
up your eyes

now i feel invisable
because i have tried

now all that is left
is my memories

even though i lay by your side
these are the feelings

i must keep inside

my love for you

is bigger


than


the cancer




or




my




pride


is there


a place to hide......

Author notes

this poem is about how much i want my man to get better
i miss everything

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 50 of 50

  • x-dont -ask-me-x
    September 11, 2008

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    I know the pain your fealing Im watching my grampa die right now. Beautifully written i have a piece on cancer as well .


  • G-y-p-o
    September 1, 2008
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    Awwwww. Very sad But well written!


  • Iridessa MoonFlower
    September 1, 2008

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    I can relate to your pain that you are feeling that you have written in your words above. My ex-husband had colon cancer. I stood by his side. I was 8 months pregnant & it was awful. Then he had to have surgery & nothing was ever the same. The love he had once now was gone, because he lost his own sanity. It still hurts for he is the father of my children & he is still alive out there. He moved on as he got better leaving us behind to pick up the pieces. I went through this with him for 10 years. I loved him with all of who I was, still do in some ways. Thank you for sharing, I hope your husband gets well. In Love & Light... Blessed Be! ~~Iridessa MoonFlower~~ P.S. If you ever want to talk please IM me I am here.


  • trekkergirl
    September 1, 2008

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    Hummm kind of got the idea that you were writing this from two separate viewpoints. First you were talking like this might be your last night... that you have love for this being...etc. then all of a sudden you have cancer and are worried about pride. I dunno. Make these two separate things and I think you'll have some wonderful writings here. Thanks for sharing these wonderful images with me. You have some wonderful idea's


  • Cant find herself
    August 31, 2008
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    Very real and deep. Thank You for sharing.


  • thewhitesettler
    August 31, 2008

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    Wow, this knocked me down. I lost my father to cancer last year, so could relate to some of this. Very well thought out verse, thank you, Cheers. Tws...


  • ProudMomma
    August 31, 2008
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    you are still in my thoughts!!! keep on writing let words be your guide!

  • pickles-lovesyou11
    August 31, 2008
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    Great! I feel the same but only its not that i have to watch a loved one suffer from cancer


  • Dajuan
    August 29, 2008
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    Love how you put all your emotion, and portion of your spirit in this poem.


  • alie
    August 28, 2008

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    im right there with ya

    my bf is in the hospital aswell and i understand the pain behind this write. this poem is really touchiing and its sad sweet eventhough its sad


  • storiesuntold gold member
    August 28, 2008
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    Oh my heart goes out to you indeed

    What love you show within this write and yes as our loved ones in such need only asks for love and understanding this wasnt their choice of the way life should end and know with only your love and embrace are they able to remain as long as they do . Tears flows from my eyes indeed


    • candyinchelsea
      August 28, 2008
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      you are so sweet muah!!!

      thank you for your kind words,
      its always good hearing from you.
      thank you for your tears and amazing heart.
      i send you a big hug
      oxoxox

  • ProudMomma
    August 28, 2008
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    Great write! I cried! This was very emotional. I'm sorry about the cancer and i hope its better! All you can do is stay strong and pray. I sure will pray for you as well. This was beautiful and you have a wonderful man to stay strong like that!! hold on tight! You'll make it through! Very great write! Now i have to wipe the tears away and spend a minute praying!!


    • candyinchelsea
      August 28, 2008
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      thank you

      your words of support mean the world to me.
      have an amazing day
      oxox

    • candyinchelsea
      August 28, 2008
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      keep praying!!

      thank you,
      stage 4 means terminal but i am
      a beleiver in miracles. god has a wonderful way of working things out.
      i am blessed to have this time with him. i send you lots of hugs
      oxox


  • banrion
    August 28, 2008

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    I am sorry you are in this place. Feel better.
    It's a beautiful poem....though it makes me feel sad.


    • candyinchelsea
      August 28, 2008
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      thank you my dear

      you are very kind,
      i appriciate all of the support
      everyone here has been so amazing!!


  • Forbidden Fetish
    August 28, 2008

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    omg.... what can i say other than AMAZING!!! Great poem! I love it! good job! I would like to see more!

    -Trish

    • candyinchelsea
      August 28, 2008
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      love you back

      thank you my ap friend,
      just reading your kind words gives me hope and such good energy!!
      a big ap hug
      c


  • nilav
    August 27, 2008

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    the aches and pain well brought out in the lines and the helplessnes which falls on man from life's many difficulties are filled in these words....


  • HpWICKEDangel
    August 27, 2008

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    "walking into a room and lighting
    up your eyes"
    when love was so young and viberent.

    "pride


    is there


    a place to hide......"
    i love the ending. it pieced it together nicely.
    thanks for sharin


  • xXchellXx
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very heartfelt

    i love your writing style, its is unique! i know that i personally, as well as many, many others can relate to losing a loved one and i applaud your courage for putting up such a heartfelt, personal poem!

  • lyric master
    August 27, 2008
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    Very touchy,i feel you did not crack your head to put it down,instead you let your speak for you. Correct the mistakes though.


  • poetrychick2008
    August 27, 2008

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    Inspiring

    I like is alot. one of my relatives that my mom hanged around alot she got over her cancer. I hope that your'e husband gets better so you don't live on just memories an he can do what he used to with you.


  • Lady Wildheart
    August 27, 2008

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    This is beautiful! I can totally relate to this. I have lost many loved ones of this terrible disease. And now my one and only true love has pre-cancerous cells in him...oh how I await they day they can cure this...Good luck and God bless!

  • maverik
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You show exactly what you are feeling and sometimes that is hard to do. Awesome job and keep your hopes up.
    -Maverik


  • TheFlutterbyRuler
    August 26, 2008

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    I'm sorry you have to go through this! the poem was beautiful..great job..hope ya'll both keep fighting..you'll make it through fine

  • luvdrkchocolate
    August 26, 2008
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    Oh. This is a very thoughtful little poem that you have going on here. I think that it is sad but also is a way to get these feelings off your chest so that you can move forward and continue to be supportive. It must be very hard for you. I thought you've done a good job of expressing yourself here.

  • kraazk05
    August 26, 2008

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    This is just raw emotion. You let us know exactly how much hopelessness and pain you feel. I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this.

    I hope that this write allowed you to feel a little better. Have some clappy dudes!


  • Koromone
    August 26, 2008
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    oh my daysss i feel ur pain! damn this is beautiful.... xx


  • evanna
    August 26, 2008
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    good stuff

    the pain communicate itself to one's heart..
    i wish he does get better candy, keep the good work..


  • Rovingone gold member
    August 26, 2008
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    To say I'm sorry for your pain must sound most insincere right now. And, no one could say they understood what you were going through unless they were in the position themselves. I said a silent prayer for your beloved and for you. This was a most sincere picture. I pray things will be better soon.


  • sgking123
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the days of romance
    when time stood still
    i remember getting dressed
    just for you

    walking into a room and lighting
    up your eyes

    now i feel invisable
    because i have tried

    now all that is left
    is my memories

    even though i lay by your side
    these are the feelings

    great reminiscing.Loved your choice of words. did you speciically think of the rhythm.It flowed well.pls visit my poetry.


  • sunray
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Deep sadness

    Such personal content, I think poetry is one of the few ways to express pain so deep as this. Reflective and meaningful this poem reaches my heart. It works, may be a little too well.


  • PandorasBox
    August 26, 2008

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    So much emotion, your pain comes thru clearly & leaves me raw... I sincerely hope your prayers are answered.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    August 26, 2008
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    It is not just a disease that someone battles alone, people around them suffer also. It is a cruel thing. I wish for you both, health and happiness and many more smiles than you have right now. It is very brave of you to put your heart out like this. Best to you both


  • Life is a Beach gold member
    August 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and oh so sad. You made me feel your pain and understand it and that is what poetry is all about. May your hopes and dreams all come true and may your prayers be answered. Blessings. Pam


  • RestlessDreamer
    August 25, 2008

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    Wow, amazing poem! I think the best poems come from the saddest things in life. Probably because they bring out the truest emotions people are feeling. This is definitely an amazing example of that. I love how you convey that while you are dealing with things in your own way, you are still there for him and doing your best to make sure he is as happy as possible. You seem like an amazing person!


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    i think you should start the poem here:

    to watch the one you love
    wither away to see them fight
    for life in every way

    because i feel tha the lines before this are giving away too much the reader knows you are hurting show don't tell... but that said i understand why your writing this and i felt the emotion, i do hope your man gets well...

    all my heart
    john

  • jadeangyal
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "my love for you is bigger than the cancer." That is all you really need to say. There is nothing more noble than caring for a loved one who is incapacitated. I recommend reading "Accomplished" by myrataal. It is a really beautiful and positive poem about loss.


  • SulfurFiend
    August 25, 2008

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    i was really connecting to what you were saying in that poem...i had chills going up my spine...very nice and i'm sorry for your loss


  • brittany.geeze
    August 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    even though i lay by your side
    these are the feelings

    i must keep inside

    my love for you

    is bigger


    than


    the cancer




    or




    my




    pride


    is there


    a place to hide......

    ----
    i think everything about that is just beautifully written. great job with writing the poem with grace, but i am so so so sorry that you have to deal with this, i know how cancer affects a family... and it sucks... i'll pray for him.


  • blackdragun
    August 25, 2008
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    what a strong and emotional poem this was truly written from the heart. I work in a nursing home and look after terminally ill people all the time, I know through my own personal experiences(with family, and my work) that death is hard to deal with whether you know it's coming or not. keep strong like you are and you will be okay


  • lianonsidhe silver member
    August 25, 2008

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    So desolately beautiful!!!!!
    You say you do 'so little', but your man knows what you do for him. Often we dismiss people who are so ill they don't seem to recognise or respond to us, but if the bible is true, their spirit knows we care, because imperfection only affects the body, and the spirit looks on at life even though the body suffers. He knows of your great love. Hang in there special soul.


  • solitarytear
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this piece really touched my heart.....i'm so sorry that you have to go through this.....watching someone you love die before your eyes and being helpless to help them is agony......thank you for shareing this wonderful poem and for allowing me to have a glimps inside your heart.....


  • Susan John Francis
    August 25, 2008
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    The hurt felt for the loved one is worst of a kind.It really pulls u apart every second. I pray everything goes well for you and this poem is heart felt in every word.

  • Susan John Francis
    August 25, 2008

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    The hurt felt for the loved one is worst of a kind.It really pulls u apart every second. I pray everything goes well for you and this poem is heart felt in every word.


  • ratkos
    August 25, 2008

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    this is beautiful.and poignant great write!i love the part 'even though 'to the end. i hope that if iam ever faced with something like this i will have the innner strength that you so obviously possess.good luck


  • innocence jaded.xx
    August 24, 2008

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    Oh, my, I am so sorry you are going through this I've known many people who have had cancer. It's really sad, and I really hope things get better for you.

    -never a complaint
    never has a tear fallen from
    his eyes
    to watch the one you love to
    battle cancer
    there is never an answer
    ...

    Amazingly written, dear. I love how you wrote this piece. & thank you for entering a new write. It's refreshing. haha. Best of luck to you with everything. I'll pray for you :] ♥


  • StarEyes
    August 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Heartwrenching in every way! What a great job you did on this one! I know those feelings well. You show a lot of courage standing by your man in this.

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta

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