Feel the world crash around me,
lost within the darkness of my own soul.
No sound could be heard
within these shadows,
nor can I feel my breath
as I wait for the cold hand of death
to be laid upon me.
The souls of the dead
scream in agony
as I swim through this eternal emptiness,
forever lost in this world
never to return.
I become one of the last souls
forced to travel through limbo,
with no chance for redemption
or to free myself of this pain.
Death makes me remember
the sins of my past,
as its razor sharp claws
rips me to shreds.
And I do not run or fight,
to get myself free,
for this is the torture
that I truly deserve.
Author notes
This was something I wrote a long time ago. Looking back I am glad I wrote it, it helped me heal.
A contest entry
- your most very personal poetry♥ by innocence jaded.xx.
475 points, ended September 7, 2008, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options~~ =) by Ti Amo Te Quiero.
360 points, ended October 10, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Time heals everything
Assuming that this is about cutting, I can't relate myself, though I know several close friends of mine who can; their pain is very personal to me, and I respect you for being able to write about such a difficult subject.
I loved the ending. From my limited knowledge on the subject, self-harm (cutting, burning, etc...)is sometimes used as a form of personal punishment. Most people who intentionally injure themselves are not suicidal; it's usually just a way to communicate their pain, turn emotional issues into something tangible, that they can control when it feels like the rest of the world is out of their hands.
I know I'll probably sound like a sadistic freak in saying this, but I've always been fascinated with the psychological aspects of self-mutilation. What drives people to such desperate measures, and what sort of thoughts trigger such a response? Perhaps you can think about these feelings the next time you write, and let me know... I would love to gain a better understanding.
I noticed a couple typos in here:
-"remption" in line 15 should be "redemption"
-"shreads" in line 20 should be "shreds".
I'm glad that you have found closure and healing; poetry is great for that, no? Well done, and thank you so much for entering.
Best wishes,
Laura, aka Immortal
-
Wow. Definitely liked this ALOT. Thanks for entering a new write, by the way :] The only thing I don't understand is what are the numbers for? lol. Otherwise, this was definitely a great poem, filled with such a powerful emotion. Thank you for entering & best of luck to youuu ! ♥
Adding your comment:
