Gently forged into liquid sanctuary,
no armor to protect, her purity a lonely arrow,
against advanced jaws of artificiality.
She raises again, on a field of small prayers.
A song initiates bodily movements,
synchronized with heavy atoms, kisses the sky.
The cycle of innocence materialises again, naked.
Author notes
Picture Inspired. Picture is called "Grass Girl" by Ms. Katherine Dinger.
No more than 50 words.
A contest entry
- Here it is, Some Sunday Afternoon Lovin...quickie anyone? by JinSays.
300 points, ended August 25, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I love this it is beautiful a few corrections I would put a comma after sanctuary to continue the flow of the sentence also armor is spelled this way and her purity a lonely arrow instead of as. This is a very touching piece ~ best of luck in the contest
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thank you mi dear yeah, this are very usefully corrections. Edit it again!( I stay busy, huh
)
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Yes! this is wonderful.
synchronized with heavy atoms, kisses the sky.
The cycle of innocience materialises again, naked.
Is this word supposed to be innocence?
I'm thinking it is, check spelling. this is a great piece, thank you.
Jin
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Thank you for mentioned it. Sometimes confusing whether it is a noun or adjective. I shall fix it.
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