I dreamt of a sons demise
And a grievous winter befell the Great Mother
Whilst starlight danced in the tears of her eyes
Once majestic grace was left haggard, only to wither
And down the child did fall
Into the matriarchs reeling caress
In the shadowed dead eyes of Sol
What is fallowed shall become less
And all things were laid low
As the sound of eternity was swallowed
In the wake of nothingness, drawn and slow
The dirge of bereavement forever followed
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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so.. this may be corny.... but im just kinda
-speechless- ahhah... because sometimes these absorb in some area without words...
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Ha! "Corny", bt I understand what you mean.
Thanks for the read, comment and applause
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well yeah... i hate when ppl say "speechless" but sometimes.. i just cant share my thoughts on the write. idk...
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interesting
i like it, its deifferent from most of the things ive read ans theres something about it that gets my attention.
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It is a weird poem that came out of nowhere while I was just feeling low and dreamless.
Thanks for taking a look at some of my stuff.
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Are you by chance a pagan? I am.... I get that from this.
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I am an atheist.
Borderline spiteful, and just a bit bitter.
But I discourage no one, nor do I ridicule their faith as they wish to believe.
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Your work shames mine. This was sad and deep. another fine write.
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My thoughts shame no one, but myself.
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wow, beautiful duckie.
you are truely an amazing poet! i hope you can realize that one day
♥
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Excellent! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, the rhyme scheme was wonderful and went hauntingly well with the imagery and language in this piece. Oh, and I adore the title.
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wooow
very well written and deep!!it sounds very ancient and full of history...touching and very profound in many ways!!
your friend always
juliet
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These words feel like the sentiments at an ancient burial: we have forgotten the humanity of these burials in our search for artefacts with which to understand ancient lives. Although the artefacts remain in the soil to tell us their stories, emotion relies on words, and often poetry, to be retained. Perhaps this is simply because I visited Sutton Hoo only a couple of days ago - a fascinating place.
In every way this is a lovely short piece, and sensitively written.
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What you take from this write is your own, as the only real theme in my mind as I wrote this was a fleeting sense attributed to that of loss.
All minds are open to interpitation here. -
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Oh! Roland Barthes?
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This reminds me of the story of Mabon...
Your writing is very elemental, and I love that about your work, another excellent write. Is this about Mabon and his mother Modron?
~E.
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I am not familiar with Mabon.
To be honest, this came from nowhere really, other than a thought conjured from a line in a song that also has no ties to this.
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I have to sat the first four lines are my favorite but the whole poem is amazing.
'Whilst starlight danced in the tears of her eyes'
That line sent shivers through my whole body
Amazing write!
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interesting
hell of a way with words, i like the third line the best
also you mis-spelled bereavement*
very melancholic, yet soft feel to this write
nice job
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